almost a week since the last entry...christmas oso over le...in a few daes time...new year will be here...with wide open arms, i shall welcome 2007...hopefully it'll be a better year than this time....happy new year to all in advance eh...
the past few daes were filled with gatherings, steamboats, bbqs, ktvs...haa..spent a shitload of money...kinda feeling the hole in my pocket liaoz...need one 4d to even up the odds...bwhaha...
watch a couple of movies too...night in museum, deathnote2....all not bad...worth watching...those with nothing to do, nobody to go out with...ya...can give it a shot..





















My Christmas present


"it's not about how much you received but how much you give..."

yest was the first day of the IHRG darts..we went in with hopes....and ended the day with our hopes dashed...out of 5 games...only managed to win 1...lost the others by a mere margin of 2-3... personally, i believe is due to that last stroke of luck that we lack and not skill... as all of us did managed to win our games at different points of time and itz juz that we din managed to win at the same time...otherwise the story might be written with a different ending...

with the results known...as in knowing that we could no longer qualify for semis...the team's journey ends.... perhaps there's some feelings of relieve...as we no longer have to fight on...yet it's mixed with the bitterness of disappointment, the regrets of not having do better in the games.... and it ain't a pretty way to conclude our 3 year of darts conquest together... but i guess...it's just meant to be... hopefully, the dart's team spirit can be passed on... and it'll be up to the younger folks from now on....

that aside...somethings worth noting are that i've a cute umpire umpiring 2 of my matches todae!!! hahaha...she's my lucky umpire lor...won the games that she umpired.... furthermore, at the end of my games...i still managed to shake her hand!! wooot~ i ain't gonna wash hand animore...lol...nah...just kidding....lol...i'm not that bian tai la!! but hopefully, i can see her tml..den if she's umpiring my match again..i'm so gonna ask her name liaoz!! hahaha....

oh...and one last note...now's like 5am...recently i've been living on surviving on 4hrs of sleep...can't sleep anymore than that...i wonder if tt's a good sign that my body had already optimise to this or is it something else....i wonder....

"it takes guts to win...but it takes even greater courage to accept your losses..."

ahhl...darts...darts....everyday darts....competition will be on this coming wed and thurs...ahh...finally can come to an end...and this will be judgement to my year of training...the past few daes intensive training....ya..alwaes oni the few daes before darts will have intensive training....okok....my bad my bad...wish me good luck hor... i think i seriously need it...

oh...i cook curry chicken last weekend...haha...**point pics** drool ba...you ppl!!! bwhahaha





"stir fry chicken with curry sauce and kantang before adding in coconut milk"









"losers are not patronise...no wonder..."

it's tiring...duno why...my life is tiring even when i'm not doing aniting much...when i see performance stagnant...i'll get disheartened...mabbe itz because my mental strength is not strong enuf...maybe i'll just get by with a i'll try harder next time to rid myself of the dissonance i feel in failing... mabbe...just mabbe...
i seems to forget that no one can help me....
i seems to forget that that it's only up to me...
i seems to forget that time has passed...
i seems to forget that results can be proportionate to effort...
and i guess i lost the heart...the passion....
but i guess i'll see it thru...just for one last time...


"even superman gets a break...i dun even have a kit-kat..."

have you ever wondered what your life will be if you do not have regrets?? was there times when u wish you could do more to achieve something or help somebody and regretted about it for not trying harder?? all these seems to be a growing process... when u are regretful, it can be about the things that you should not have done...or simply the things you shoud do but not doing(in my case that is)... somehow, these regrets seems to make you wanna do more, wanna be this or that...but imo, itz juz hindsight i guess...itz alwaes much easier to see things and sae things after it happened...

regrets too can make us realise our limitations, our powers...often, itz not alwaes we did not try hard enuf or simply make the effort...itz juz a limitation to wat we can realised given our capabilities.... and perhaps, in the best scenario, try to improve yourself n make sure next time u dun have the same regrets again... alas...my life is full of regrets...

1. i regreted not saying "i love you" more...
2. i regreted not being around when u left...
3. i regreted not saying "hi" to tt girl in zouk years ago...(haizz..wasted...)

so, what regrets do you have?? think about it...

"there's up and downs in life...because wat goes up must come down...issac newton say one.."

sleepless yet againz...thinking abt things...

人各有志, wat's yours?

"when my hand ain't the one rolling the ball, how it rolls depends on you..."

too long never post...been engaged with FF12..aka Final Fantasy 12... shall post something related...the lyrcs for the theme song of it....

As you are feeling bewildered
Open the door
Aren't you satisfied
with a world for the both of us?

Because I gave you wings
I believe that you can fly

Kiss me good-bye, love is memory
Losing you

The memory of love changes into strength
Searching for a definite item
Everyone is in love
You have that trembling love within you.

Kiss me good-bye, sayonara
Change into a new me

Kiss me good-bye
Kiss me good-bye

Kiss me good-bye, love is memory
If we change into two new people

Kiss me good-bye, don't cry

Because I could love you

Because I could love you

"the end might just be the next beginning..."

same old familiar feeling is back to haunt mi....the feeling of a pain wrecked body...a mentally drained brain....all these are back...

dun u think when sometimes u wake up and ur brain start hating the feeling of being awake but know that u have no choice....tt feeling juz simply sux...ur brain will routinely remind u of all the things u have to do even though u are starting to detest it.... i kinda hate tt feeling....

itz juz like something u love have evolve into such a stage that u feel reluctant to face it, and u do it because u feel a sense of responsibility towards it... tt feeling realli sux... i realli feel tired...mabbe itz my own fault for waking up early to play game and staying up to plae game...so my body eventualli get physically tired...but wat's more tiring is dragging my mind to carry on...
izzit realli tt possible to become sick of wat u had loved? itz a not so nice thot...juz imagine getting sick of someone u are in love with... all the warm fuzzy feelings tt fade away leaving behind a empty shell of pretence... argh...

to the things and ppl i love, i dunno wat to do except to give...to stay committed and push on, giving it my all...and mabbe tt's wat wearing me out... but apart from giving and enduring..i've no idea wat to do... ah well... i guess a candle juz have to continue to burn no matter how short its lifespan is.... otherwise...wat good is a candle...

but realli...i'm weary...i'm reallli weary le....

"sometimes when u give too much...you left nothing for yourself..."

BORED!! that's my life....slept too much over the weekend... and now, it's like 5 plus in the morning...and i'm still feeling wide awake...ah well...sianz....pretty much nothing much on a sunday....neither monday...and mabbe for the whole week.... i think it's time to get my act together and start doing something constructive... geez...otherwise i think i'm so gonna be bored to death by this boring life...

i wanna watch movie!!!! argh....hate going to movie alone....

"there's no 'i' in 'us', just like there's only 'u' in 'us'..."

holidaes aint not biggie after all...there's oni so much u can sleep, eat, slack before u get sian of it...i got sianz of it le..haizz... holidaes are called this holidaes because they simply remind u of the holey-ness of life...sianz... i look back n i see holes...zzz...so much like craters on the moon...i nvr knew i'm this "holey" after all...ah well...ahh.....of to deep thoughts....

"wat would you give...?"

Krav
26 years of sailing
Nocturnal and alcoholic
Small eyes, wrong perceptions
Taurus monkey man

Kravings, Otaku, Hermit
Anecdotal, metaphorical, illogical
Never trusting, suspecting
Gundams-lover
Yearning, loathing
U and only u

Living freely,
Ostentatious, Obnoxious,
Venturing, learning
Enduring storms
Sailing the high seas,

Yours truly
Only,
Undyingly










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