alot of things lie beneath humans....ppl may look happy n contented...but dig abit deeper...they are juz showing a facade... somehow, sometimes, itz a chore to be happy...especially when u are juz showing a happy face to other pple and you are totally not happy urself... perhaps..wat humans realli need is solitude... thru solitude...u can collect ur thots...thru solitude...u can find urself....or mabbe end up getting more lost n disillusioned... somehow, frens may not be the best cure to all ur problems...though most of the time, they are....

"frenz are like diamond, precious and rare"

wateva the case...to all my frenz...stae happy...

hmm...itz early sat...am at home...feels realli good to be at home..relaxing n enjoying... todae was quite a good dae..haha..identified more ppl i can be frenz with...itz realli good to treat ppl without ulterior motives n ppl treat u back the same...i guess tt's wat true frenship is all abt...

been reading a comic called death note...itz mentally sapping...but damn nice...i wonder if i had a death notebook, whose name shall i write...haa..will i write the names of those i dunlike down so tt they will die?? haha..i wonder....but oh well..itz damn nice...

不想失去你
红丝巾 红裙 红笑脸
心在烧思念 在蔓延
灯灭了我都看得见
你黑白分明一双眼
想忘记却又更想念
愈想念我无法入眠
没有你 还有甚么在身边
分开心 甘情愿 为何又魂萦梦牵
一丝丝 一点点 你的记忆
一声声 一句句 浮现心底
怎么舍得你 就这样永远分离
爱一生 差一线 不能一起
等一天 等一年 忘掉自己 却忘不了你
说放弃但深爱你
不见面情也不改变
不改变却不能再见
失去你 等于失去了明天
我已生无可恋从今
我渡日如年

been surviving on lesser n lesser sleep.... is it cuz time is running out? perhaps ba... being awake for longer period allow me to do more things, see more things.... guess the theory of live everydae like there's no tomorrow works for me... at least it makes me more pro-active...and also think of lesser unhappy things...there simply isn't enough time for me to be unhappy...

went to watch snow wolf lake on fri..oni 1 word..stupendous, terrific, splendid....oops...okiez...itz juz tt good la..haa...the songs are nice, jacky is cool, evonne and nadia are pretty...wat more do you want out of a concert rite? haha... the 188 is totally worth it...totally make my wait for it worthwhile... the oni sad thing is tt cuz i never sleep on thurs nite...during xue lang hu was quite tired...haha..unable to concentrate fully on the show...gotta fight zzz monster so abit the lost form... but oh well..itz worth it...haha..damn nice show...

now is mid autumn dae le...mmm....somehow this yr mid autumn quite dead...feel veri bored..not much of a mood... though i plaed a bit of sparklers....haha..but i plae alone....lol...no lanterns oso...haiz.... shall brood abt life abit..

juz had my hockey frenly match yest..ran my guts out...or i tried... though we lost by a tyco goal..oh well... it still sucks..hate such tyco-ness...kena whack by sticks n balls, so now both my shins are swollen..sianz...

after the match...immediately i konk out...was super duper tired..i have no idea why..mabbe the whole week worth of fatigue has juz caught up...so decided to heck care everything and sleep...it is the recess after all, sleeping is definitely good.... juz woke up with a major pain all over the body...but still gotta go down to the library to do some work...too long never go show face...will kena sack one.. but gosh...am damn tired...

mmm... somehow this holidae dun seems like a happy one... not much time to enjoy myself..all the work piling up...and there's this underlying unhappiness among some of my frenz...though nothing was said...but i can juz feel the underlying unhappiness all over againz..hai...when will all these nonsense end? sianz.... why can't ppl juz feel happy and enjoy their life... i guess such things are easier said than done ba...

guess wat..i did it again...i slept even earlier todae at 10plus...and now i am awake at 2...mabbe awake shuldnt' be the word to use...rather i am now sleep-blogging...hahaa...cool eh... in a semi slumber mode...abit the hungry too..bleahz..but too late for food...tml oso have a long dae ahead...bleahz...sux....

mummble mumble mumble...bleahz...

todae is yet another sleepless nite...i not thinking of aniting, but somehow i am juz tt awake...i tried sleeping early todae...at 1am..but end up waking at 4 plus... den cannot sleep le...so juz blog abit ba... i think my body clock is totalli screwed up le....otherwise itz cuz i sleep too much on sundae...that's why now cannot sleep...bleahz..this sux..

never had i cycled for 8 hours through the night... went for my hall nite cycling on fri...it was fun~ minus the pain though... but it was interesting watching ppl struggling cycling up the slope... ppl cycle until almost zzz...ppl alweas doze off during breaks..haa..

i had a good time exploring the roads, enjoying the nite breeze, listening to my FM and chilling out on the bike talking to the freshies...it was quite fun... haha...letz hope there's more painful n fun things to do..haha...

ended up zzz my weekends away... zzzzzz

mmm..juz thot that i shuld post something up...the past 2 daes were not that good... been keeping late nitez... or rather...early mornings...went for breakfast at 7am....this shows tt i haven sleep yet....and apparently..it's damn bad for health... yeah...i know...but oh well...wat to do...haah..itz my life...cannot sleep = cannot sleep... but then at nite...KO like siao...

actualli...now oso pretty tired la...lucky juz now manage to nap abit...tried studying for quiz..but then oso din absorb much... ha..guess tml quiz..gotta bring all my smoke grenade laioz....tsk tsk tsk...no choice...

hmmm....recently i had new thoughts on life too... it seems that the more u wanted out of it, the more u gotta give something back to it... thus, it oni boils down to how much u want out of life and how much are u willing to give...if u willing to give up alot...den perhaps u will have a greater desire to desire more... likewise for relationship... once u got the person u wanted...u gotta give up all those who wanted u... gee...dun realli seems like a good trade-off...lol... and so bro ar...think carefully before u go into a relationship ar... are u realli willing to sacrifice tt much for her wor... if not, den dun be so troubled over her ya?? all ur excessive thinking is juz making us worried...but tt's nicely said lar...cuz itz more irritating den worrying la... jiayou ba bro.. at least i'll be behind u...

hmmm....i juz feel like bitching... there's not much sense to this post actually...i saw my sep schedule...and geez...was quite overwhelmed by the sheer amount of things that i gotta clear in the recess week. First, there's the AB218 courses that will prep me for my PA....3 daes will be gone just like that... next, there's the upcoming 2 major presentations for my 213 n 212...so most probz gotta prepare..and not forgetting the film studies presentations that i have to prepare too...gosh...recess week is so siong... ah...and the hockey trainings, the wateva trainings for interhall that will start soon...gosh..

see...aint recess supposed to be slack? haiz...i'm sadden liaoz..if i do so much things, will i still have time to go out with frenz?? oh well..i guess i juz cut down on my sleeping time ba...there's alwaes time for my frenz.... new n old, none shall be rejected...

todae went down to SGH to visit gordan...seems like he is doing well... shuld be able to be discharge veri soon... hehe...

but todae was quite touched... itz a veri touching thing when one of your frenz juz tell u " if u got probz, can come find me. I'll make time for you no matter how busy I am."

omg...i was like abit overwhelmed...itz been quite some time since i last heard such a thing said to me... made me realise that i still have frenz tt care for me afterall...haha...and itz apart from my 44 buddies... geez...thanks a million ya....

juz wanna express my gratitude....that's all...

gee...seems like relationship problems are the "in" thing now wor... i've heard quite a few examples from ppl all ard me...

1. boy like girl, girl attached...**suck thumb**
2. girl like boy, boy dun like girl...still **suck thumb**
3. boy n girl like each other, family no like...**sucking thumb**
4. boy like girl, boy like another girl... ** suck 2 thumbs**
5. boy n girl break cuz split like other girl... ** sucking thumb still**
6. boy like girl, but another boy oso like girl... **sucking thumb and wait to book out**
7. boy like girl, girl like boy's fren...**can start sucking toes liao**


<==the correct suck thumb technique

"PS: dun suck the whole thumb, juz one segment of it"








gee...see...so mani example wor...haiz...but all leads to one conclusion...sucking thumb...haiz...
thank goodness i'm quite safe from all these...aha...no relationship = no probz...

but juz remember, if ever u feel under the weather, there'll be me and my 4 frenz to help u out...u can confide in us...and we'll never betray u...

<== me and my frenz

the town was in shambles. smoke was billowing from the raging fires, rubbles were all over the place but one thing remain eeriely quiet. there was no crying, no sound except the cackling of the fires within. One solitary figure slowly shambled out of the town entrance. He was of average height, and wore a torn tattered black jacket. he walked on, and all of a sudden, our eyes met. I was gripped with fear. I ducked immediately behind the boulder in which i was hiding, trying to cover my mouth fearing i would let a tell-tale gasp that would revealed my location. then i will be just like all the other residents of the town, ripped into tiny pieces and scattered all over this meadow.

my heart was pounding as i trained my ears and braced myself. any sign of him approaching me, i would make a mad dash for my life.

"Krraak, " a twig behind me snapped.
"this is it...heck ar, " my feet took off almost immediately after my mind told it to. I ran relentlessly but apparently, lady luck was not on my side. The stupid twine caught my leg and i took a tumble and knock my head against a rock. then i black out.

when i wake up, i only found myself to be tied up in a dark room. but apart from that, it seems that i was pretty much unhurt except for the big bruise that i took from the blasted room. I look around. Broken furniture and some farming equipment lay cluttered all over the floor.

Life is like a boat

Nobody knows who I really am
I never felt this empty before
And if I ever need someone to come along,
Who’s gonna comfort me, and keep me strong?
We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on coming and we can’t escape
But if we ever get lost on our way
The waves would guide you through another day
dooku de iki o shiteru toomei ni natta mitai
kudayami ni omoe dakedo mekaku shisarete tadake
inori o sasagete atarashii hi o matsu
asayaka ni hikaru umi sono hate made
Nobody knows who I really am
Maybe they just don’t give a damn
But if I ever need someone to come along
I know you would follow me, and keep me strong
hito no kokoro wa utsuriyuku mukedashiteku naru
tsuki wa mada atarashii shuuki de mune o tsureteku
And every time I see your face
The ocean heaves up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars, and soon
I can see the shore
Oh, I can see the shore
When will I see the shore?
I want you to know who I really am
I never thought I’d feel this way towards you
And if you ever need someone to come along,
I will follow you, and keep you strong
tabi wa mada tsuzuiteku odayakana hi mo
tsuki wa mata atarashii shuuki de ume o terashidasu
inori o sasagete atarashii hi o matsu
asayaka ni hikaru umi sono hate made
And every time I see your face
The ocean heaves up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars, and soon
I can see the shore
Unmei no huneoko gi nami wa tsugi kara tsuki e to watashi-tachi o sou kedo
Sore mo suteki na tabi ne, dore mo suteki na tabi ne

i dreamt of him during my nap... he came back to see me... guess he felt the things tt i was going thru too...and thus came back to see me...felt a sense of relieved juz after seeing him...somehow..i got the courage to face the world againz...to face all the evilness in this world... for i know he will alwaes be with mi....

geez...realize tt there's lotsa unhappiness ard... okiez...i admit...i'm not even that happy... my good buddy hospitalised and gonna be out of action for a couple of months, but still, life goes on... alot of my frenz, seemingly are happy...but itz juz tt they dun see the sadness that lies within... and one thing, ppl from outside will see me as juz a alcoholic who loves to drink for no reason, but itz juz the surface... somehow, they dun see the meaning behind drinking...i drink with ppl who have probz.... i drink cuz they ask me to drink with them, not cuz i want to... if there was less unhappiness, i won't have to drink as much... if ppl wanna see me as a alcholic becuz of all these, so be it...i rather be misunderstood than to let my fren wallow in sadness themselves...

its juz so easy to talk abt stuffz when u had a drop of liqour, the whole body relaxes, and stuffz that u never think u would talk abt juz came pouring out... and the things i heard...and i know... believe me...itz all not pretty.... but still...i listen on... even if i can't do a thing to help, i can at least drink and listen to your troubles....

mmmm...seems like there's quite abit of reader for my entries too... esp the story thingy... max was like finding it so funnie...ahah...am quite amused by it too..hehez....thus i shalt cont to post more on it.... seems like i can slowly develop the story into something like the crow...hhehz...die hard with a vengeance.... my way of mocking life greatest tragedy~ woot~

blood was on his hand... the judges look on with horror, as well as a look of pure amazement on their face... wat does it takes to kill this man...he had been put on the electric chair, hanged, went through a live firing squad and yet...he still refused to die... worst still, what remains of the firing squad was lying in pieces around him... he had literally tore them into shreads with his bare hands...
"mmm...i din knew i was this strong..." he mused...he look up at the judges, and give them a smile of pure amusement. even he himself, was suprised at the turn of events. he thought he would just die by one of the execution methods, but instead, it turned out that each time he went through it, he only got stronger. strangely, it felt good. as long as he start thinking of how his friend betrayed him and how he killed his fren, the vengeance in him just made him stronger. he was feeding on all these negative energy that just made him stronger.
he slowly approached the judges, not to kill, but to test the extent of his new found powers. the judges backed off. they ran, or rather, tried to ran, as he slowly chased them down. screams of pain and tearing flesh rang out in the darkness, and almost as quickly as it started, the noises died down. all that's left is just the new blood that's flowing on the ground...

Looking up towards the moon, from a solitary cell, the boy feel he could almost reach it... he long for freedom...but here he was, all cooped up in this solitary cell. He was inside for manslaughter, or was it murder...he no longer cared.. he knew that he had lost his fren, he had killed his fren...and oh well...he no longer cared... cuz it aint his fren anymore... he lost his love, he lost his fren, he lost his freedom as well... the oni frenz he had now were the rats that lay hiding in their holes in the wall...

"hiding from me too..." he scoffed... frenship aint as lasting as he initially thought... perhaps when there's a common purpose, then frenship can exist...however, if there's a common goal that ppl wanna have, wanna reach...frenship will juz fade away like the moon when it meets the sun every morning, like the dusk tt fades when the sun rises, like the rainbow tt fades when the sun come out... so that's wat the sun is abt... a destroyer of memories, a destroyer of hope.... and ppl sae sun bring new hope...new light...for they din see wat the sun destroy juz yet....

and that's why...the guy juz hope to reach for the moon... the eternal moon that's alwaes reflect the rays from the sun, the eternal moon that's juz there for eternity...silently watching over the people who believes in it...

Krav
26 years of sailing
Nocturnal and alcoholic
Small eyes, wrong perceptions
Taurus monkey man

Kravings, Otaku, Hermit
Anecdotal, metaphorical, illogical
Never trusting, suspecting
Gundams-lover
Yearning, loathing
U and only u

Living freely,
Ostentatious, Obnoxious,
Venturing, learning
Enduring storms
Sailing the high seas,

Yours truly
Only,
Undyingly










Blogskins
Nice chinese horo site
Good site for gamefaqs
Sweet flash site
Joleen's
Sheepy's
Xiang's
Yupin's
Peiwei's
Adrian's
Yoke Peng's
Ashley's
Cat's
Bel's
Danny Choo's
Ck's Doodle
Zihui's
My Web Album





May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
October 2009
January 2010
January 2011
March 2011
June 2012



designer
blogskins
picture
brushes