juz watched the great happiness space.... it's a documentary on host clubs in japan and the hosts themselves... mmm.... kinda thought invoking show too... selling ourselves..to make tonnes of money...providing a space for clients to be happy at the expense of our own happiness... kinda like one big paradox to me... where everyone is lying to each others... i guess... i too have a phobia to trust...

on a side note....fri's here!

"everyone is lonely... when they are alone by themselves..."

another tough dae at work...more OT..but slowly getting the hang of all the I-match, TLM, GBS...yada yada... siong sia...but eventualli i'll get it...no fear... all the accting terms that i forgotten had return to haunt mi too...all my debit, credit, ledger, statement....siao la... but oh well...suck thumb....gotta do it betta...

todae took cab back...lazy to squeeze in the train with ppl... had a super long conversation in hokkien with the cab uncle...who was damn against capitalist...he believed that it was they who exploited the world...and keep saying wanting to hang them..oh well...interesting view from a cabbie...and best thing..at the end of the trip..he gimme his name card..turn out he was in the funeral bizness....omg.... ah well...things ppl do to survive nowadays...with the extension of CPF withdrawal and the rising cost of living...who can blame them...

<<一个人的借口>>

走...我一个人走
找...找一个出口...
无须你牵着我的手...
我依然能够找到自由...

想...想着我的自由...
放弃了一切所有...
原来忘了当初...
最原始的尽头...

心...碎了没有...
一切...也成为借口...
不管到底有没有...
我们始终是朋友...

"in life...we lie to make ourselves feel better... for we just can't take the truth..."

i think i need a woman in my life... daes without mom at home...itz not good at all...furthermore...now tt i'm officially working...i need my working clothes daily... and ya...i gotta wash my own clothes daily at nite...gotta do ironing..gotta take care of stuffz at home...muz boil water in the morning....prepare breakfast... haizz... hope my mom come back soon...but oni gotta wait til the end of the week...sianz...

I need a girl... P. Diddy feat. Usher

I need a girl to ride, ride, ride
I need a girl to make my wife
I need a girl who's mine oh mine
I need a girl in my life

Yo, I'm internationally known on the microphone
I got it all, but I really need a wife at home
I don't really like the zone, never spend the night alone
I got a few, you would like to bone
But, chicks don't romance me, don't tickle my fancy
Only Tiffany, Nancy, that's not what my plans be
I need a girl that could stand me, raise me a family
Go to trips at the Lancy, trip to the Grammy's cause
Most of these girls be confusin' me
I don't know if they really love me or they usin' me
Here's the money, or maybe you ain't used to me
'Cos you was depressed and now you abusin' me
That's why I need a girl that be true to me
Know 'bout the game, and know how to do to me
Without a girl on my side, I ruin me
Forget the word, it's just you and me

Now let's ride.....

I need a girl to ride, ride, ride
I need a girl to make my wife
I need a girl who's mine oh mine
I need a girl in my life
I need a girl to ride, ride, ride
I need a girl to be my wife
Nobody else 'cos she's all mine
I need a girl in my life

Yo, now I have had a lot of women in my lifetime
But see it's not a lot of women that got the right mind
I done had pretty chicks with all the right features
And hoodrat chicks that only rock sneakers
Cellphones and beepers, and know how to treat ya
You break her heart, she'll walk out and leave ya
I find a girl, I'ma keep her
'Cos now I'm gettin money and the game gettin' deeper
I want some real, I need somebody I can chill with
I need somebody I can build with
I need somebody I can hold tight
With the time and no full limits, no right
Anytime we together would feel so right
You the girl I been lookin' for my whole life
God bless me, I'm glad I got the insight
It's 'cos of you girl, now I understand life

I need a girl...

I need a girl to ride, ride, ride
I need a girl to make my wife
I need a girl who's mine oh mine
I need a girl in my life
I need a girl to ride, ride, ride
I need a girl to be my wife
Nobody else 'cos she's all mine
I need a girl in my life

I had a girl that would've died for me
Didn't 'preciate her so I made her cry for me
Every night she had tears in her eyes for me
Quarter K's, shorty took the whole ride for me
First we were friends then became lovers
You was more than my girl, we was like brothers
All night we would play fight under covers
Now you gone, can't love you like I really wanna
But everytime I think about your pretty smile
And how we used to drive the whole city wild
Damn I wish you would've had my child
A pretty little girl wit' Diddy's smile
This is wild
All dem days that I reminisce
About the way I use to kiss dem pretty lips
But as long as you happy, I'ma tell you this
I love you girl and you're the one that I will always miss
I love you, yeah

I need a girl to ride, ride, ride
I need a girl to make my wife
I need a girl who's mine oh mine
I need a girl in my life
I need a girl to ride, ride, ride
I need a girl to be my wife
Nobody else 'cos she's all mine
I need a girl in my life

I need a girl to ride, ride, ride
I need a girl to make my wife
I need a girl who's mine oh mine
I need a girl in my life
I need a girl to ride, ride, ride
I need a girl to be my wife
Nobody else 'cos she's all mine
I need a girl in my life

I need a girl to ride, ride, ride
I need a girl to make my wife
I need a girl who's mine oh mine
I need a girl in my life
I need a girl to ride, ride, ride
I need a girl to be my wife
Nobody else 'cos she's all mine
I need a girl in my life

"只原和你过一生..."

todae was my first day at work... mmm.... my work place is rather nice...being a rather new building... the environment is good...the view is good..cuz i work at the 27th floor... even the computer i use is pretty good... the pantry is nice too...and it even houses a spinelli cafe in the pantry... the toilet is within the office itself...so u dun even have to exit the office to go to the toilet...and tt's good...

my job is kinda like a detective..investigating where do the money go... and account for reasons for inconsistency in the accounts... yeahz...accountancy... i heard like many debits credits todae...and damn...my nitemare is juz oni starting la... haizz... and best thing still...these inconsistencies are termed as "breaks"...and now i've seen breaks everywhere...oh man oh man.... but oh well...it's kinda interesting trying to find out where all the money are hidden.... and we'll have to chase if it's not being paid... so i guess my job allows me to be kinda like a detective...and a loan shark... bahh...work's tough...but mmm..i'll get used to it eventualli...

oh well...tml's the 2nd dae...

"it juz feels kinda like this..."

went for DND yest... nice place... diff concept from last year... cuz last yr was in a club...but this yr was at upper club..with proper seats for us to eat...somehow...it kinda feels more like a JC prom this time round..everyone was dressed to the nines... i ain't complaining cuz there's lotsa ppl to see in nice clothes... not bad... but i juz can't shake of the JC prom feeling though... ah well... it's over...
after which went to watch ratatouille(yes...again)... perhaps it's becuz the watching movie at 2am...quite a few of us were actually dozing off abit...but oh well...it's a not bad show nonetheless...

and tml i'm gonna start work! oh no oh no....


the oldies...


44 pageant gals...


the super duper 7!


44 of the old...


my playing with remy...

"it is the way it is..."

finalli.... i found work... signed the employment contract this afternoon...mondae gonna start work at barclays capital le... kinda look forward to the job...and yet kinda apprehensive whether i'll be able to cope notz...oh well..no point thinking too much...go in and learn as much as possible and just whack it!!

went to watch hairspray todae too.... and seriously..if u are a big musical fan...or a grease fan...or just a fan of john travolta and the rollin 60s... this show is for u... it's seriously a fun show...with lotsa witty singing and romance.... it also touches the touchy issue of racism... it's realli a fun show to watch...so ya...go watch it folks!! i'm sure u'll be enthralled by it...the show make me happy for the whole nite...i'm sure it'll make u happy too!

tml is DnD too.. hopefully it'll be fun as last year...i hope...

hmmm...and my blog is finalli approaching the 1000 visits le...ahaha..i shall reward the 1000th reader...with a drink! wahah...


寂寞是临睡的习惯
习惯是一个人守着
冰冷的床和烟灰缸
没有你的孤单
想你在这样的夜晚
打开窗吹着冷风　
故意把灯关上
试着想像你笑的模样
不懂我的爱在你生命中
占据多少份量　
让你哭泣却是我心深处最痛的伤
最残酷的惩罚
I will never try to break your heart　
我不愿这样
让爱情不由自主　
陷入一场
两败俱伤的战
I will never try to break your heart　
我真的不想
再面对没有你的寂寞夜晚　
烟雾迷茫的孤单

"you remember wat i din do...but have u ever remember wat i did?"

我爱雨天... 听着雨的声音...听着它们滴哒在窗上... 看着它们从天落下... 证明了它们的勇气...
能够从高处落下... 碎身在地上...化为一滩滩的水, 回归大海...
人是否也能一样...勇往直前...甚至粉身碎骨...也一样冲下去.... i wonder...

我 待 着 堅 定 的 心 情
推 開 你 的 影 子 活 的 更 好
加 上 把 這 都 告 上 一 段 落
釋 放 自 己 有 一 天 還 得 原 諒

~ taken off lyrics a fren written...


"we walk, we follow, we listen, we do....for what?"

in life...everyone has a hero... everyone has someone that they look up to and aspire to be...for some, it may be just a sportsman, a businessman or even someone elderly in their family... however... wat are the conditions for a person to become a hero??
must he have super powers like superman, spiderman??
or must he have like skills like beckham, ronaldo or wateva?
or mabbe even rich like donald trump... i guess not...
i guess heros are heros because they do wat normal ppl did not...endure wat normal ppl cannot... and thus achieve success beyond normal ppl... but mabbe the pre-requisite is not to give up...for if u give up...you'll nvr be able to endure on.... much less talk abt achievement...

"if only you knew.."

went back sch to plae badminton with ankur n rong2... been quite some time since i plae..but at least getting my touches back abit...better den when i plae with hh 2 weeks ago...den met up kam n the folks for lunch... as usual...lunch was talking cock and laughing at everything else... after which went to watch hostel 2 with xiao fan shu... the show ain't as gory as i thot.... think ichi the killer more fierce... but oh well...decent show nonetheless i guess... took a walk ard orchard after tt to look for my bro textbook... but all the places are ex...sianz... den had a nice sleep on the express bus back home..shiok la...orchard seems so much accessible with express 502 reaching boon lay...woot~

"the truth is only the amount of facts you are willing to believe..."

went to celebrate rin's bdae yest...had dinner at breeks.... den went to bowl at marina square... it was a rather fun session..aha...in fact..it's like our first gathering that has most of the members of the UCLA folks... have more gathering eh!...

been watching eyeshield 21 too...nice anime... about american football..which i like to watch but never had the chance too cuz i have no espn... damn sad... shall sign up for cable when i start working...damn.....

oh well...badminton tml...and gonna watch the hostel 2 hopefully.. hurrah! nothing much to talk abt.... juz leave behind something to think about...
if u have one thing that you can change...wat will it be...and why?


bowling for columbine?

"tongue-tied, blank mind...all because of you..."

in life... it's not often u are given 2nd chances for the things that you've done... and tt's the things that give rise to regrets... unlike games or wat... u can juz save and reload the part of life that you did wrongs that cause the game over...and try to make better decisions or conserve that item or even find a alternative way to defeat the boss... that's in games...

but life... every mistakes that you make...will return to haunt you... imo, arguments can be settled but never forgotten... life's lidat... mistakes will juz return... mothers can take things that u did when u were a small kid n use it on u to blame u or guilt you or scold you... or mabbe tt's juz gals in generals... i'm sure those frens with gfs will find such a scenario familiar....things that happened ago just start to be thrown up by them to fuel the current arguments to greater heights... therefore doing injustice to the phrase " let bygones be bygones"...

the ugliness of such a scenario alwaes seems to disgust me... thru the settling of the argument... it was mutually agreed to let the issue past liao...and yet...after countless times... previous arguments are brought up...zzz...that sux man...so...to moms, ppl's gf... try not to dig up "treasures" eh... for u duno which piece of treasure will cost u ur life...

and to the few frens that i know are alwaes there..thanx ar! being sick is not a easy task man... it sux being sick...ahaha...

"live like no tomorrow... like without having the need for 2nd chances..."

feeling kinda weird...kinda lethargic...but kinda sleepless... kinda wanna talk...but kinda no one to talk to... somehow...walking n drifting along on a empty road at nite seems kinda interesting....listening to music... kinda good for thinking... perhaps sometimes it's just those kind of days again... or mabbe it's just because it's august.. the melancholy is kinda stifling...
i wish i could have someone to talk to... or rather...someone that i am willing to talk to...

"life is never a smooth sailing voyage...there's ups and down.."

i believe in sunshine after the rain...
even though there may be gloomy times...
but still the rain wunt last forever...
for the sun will still come out to play....

=====================================

a door closes
and another opens...
even if u can't enter the house from the doors...
try the windows...
or be like the fat santa...use the chimney...

=====================================

we have 2 hands...
reason being...even if there's no one to hold ur hands...
u can alwaes use ur left hand to hold ur right and...

=====================================

there's nothing unwanted in life...
wat matters is how much u want it...
and even if u dun get it...
at least be thankful that u had wanted it before...

"all you gotta have is faith...but err...who's faith?"

being unemployed is like so not a good thing...you'll have too much time on hand...so you'll find ppl to go out... and going out equates to spending money...thankfully...my previous few trips out all got ppl blanjah me makan... thanks jie, elvin, pravin and marcus ar! ahha...when i get my pay...it'll be my turn liaoz...confirm will treat you all back...

so, apart from going out...been watching quite a fair bit of tele too... somehow, the 9pm chan 8 show kinda intruige me... yeah..it's army theme...abit lame... but somehow i like to have a good laugh when i'm watching it... but mmm.... i find that the guys in the show abit too "痴情".... in shows, guys staying devoted to gals and doing so much for gals will led them to getting the gals in the end..aka final episode... but in real life...it doesn't seems to work that way... and shows are supposed to reflect reality... bah~

last thing that i've been doing is tadaa~ Gundams! decided to give all my gundams a upgrading and a photoshoot...gonna experiment all the settings with my camera... for now...it's just some snaps of my Crossbone Vanguard X-1...


close up...


full body view


watcha looking at?


damn! it's a giant nemo!!

"to you i give everything... none of which you could see..."

caught a episode of extreme makeover: home edition... actualli...it's kinda heartwarming to see such shows... putting the advertisements, the product placements etc aside... seeing them helping ppl to realise their dreams and improve their living conditions is quite a heart warming thing... today's episode is abt this kid who had cancer writing in to ask them for a paint job in the hospital for kids.. and all she wanted was to make the stay in hospital better for other kids who have cancer... and due to this kind nature of her..the makeover team decide to grant her wish and give her home a whole new total makeover in secret too... ppl who are interested can watch it on sunday...think it's 3 to 4pm ba...

been a tough week for mani frens... hope that all their troubles are over...
and to those birthday stars..happy birthday...

Don't Give Up On Us
David Soul

Don't give up on us, baby
Don't make the wrong seem right
The future isn't just one night
It's written in the moonlight
Painted on the stars
We can't change ours

Don't give up on us, baby
We're still worth one more try
I know we put a last one by
Just for a rainy evening
When maybe stars are few
Don't give up on us, I know
We can still come through

I really lost my head last night
You've got a right to start believing
There's still a little love left, even so

Don't give up on us, baby
Lord knows we've come this far
Can't we stay the way we are?
The angel and the dreamer
Who sometimes plays a fool

"when everybody talks at the same time...nobody listens..."

不是我的错我们都听过
完美的时候要更多
找这时候说的太多
有时候的我
只想和你一样沉默
不想单单罗罗嗦嗦
水也灭不掉的火

也许大男人真的很男人
也许大男人没那么男人
少了点风度还是不承认
有时候错的并不知道错的
不想借口只是直接一天说
有时候女孩没那么小孩
心里的无奈也需要点关怀
遗憾的遗留变成勉强了
怎么能重新再来

"i'm just a phone call away... but the damn fone never ring..."

okiez...juz fuck it...

"..."

frens do wat a frens must...support, trust and be there...
your world may collapse, but your frens' corpse will be around you...
even if they are not..have faith they will pack up your body...

families do wat families must... support, protect, and be there...
you may be troubled, but they'll take all your troubles and make it theirs...
even if they don't, hopefully they don't create more troubles...

guys do wat guys must... protect, be there, and stay there...
you may suspect them, but they'll hold fast and see it thru...
even if they don't, they'll die trying or it's simply not worth it...

gals do wat gals must... ask, request, and demand more...
you may love them, but they'll be the source of your troubles....
even if they aren't, you'll be troubled without them anyway....

Bridge Over Trouble Water

When you’re weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;
I’m on your side. When times get rough
And friends just can’t be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

When you’re down and out,
When you’re on the street,
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you.
I’ll take your part.
When darkness comes
And pain is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

Sail on silvergirl,
Sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine
If you need a friend
I’m sailing right behind.

Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.

"there's only so much a guy can do...for everything else... there's me"

just came back from a clubbing session at double o... once again...everyone was wasted... but this time.. there's breakthru for ppl...those who din puke before...puke! congrats! and happy bdae to cw! hahaa... though todae was rather short n hassle... and not to mention crowded with buayas n wolves n flies... it was still like the good o daes...ahhaa...fun nonetheless...
and i realise...talking to ppl does open up ur mind...but it doesn't open up the heart...

"爱吾所爱, 爱所爱吾, 吾无所爱, 爱吾所无..."

a list of summary of the things i've done for the past 6 weeks..

1. vist japan
2. buy gundam
3. saw UCLA
4. explore hollywood
5. having fine dining at sunset strip
6. went Universal studios
7. eat shitload of instant noodles and pasta
8. had burgers and more burgers
9. took roller coasters in 6 flags magic mountain
10. visited san fran
11. touched the pacific ocean
12. visited yosemite national park
13. bought massive amount of shopping from factories outlets
14. went down las vegas to see their casino
15. lost 2 bucks in gambling at las vegas
16. got 34/99 for econs mid term
17. visited mexico
18. visited disneyland
19. went foam party to chiong
20. attended a stand up comedy at Improv


making a trip down to US have make me realized 10 things..

1. learning how to understand and accept foreign culture
2. it sux to be a minority in other ppl country
3. econs in UCLA is really tough, esp when MCQ get wrong will lose marks
4. if your body clock is screwed up, jet lag is not a prob...
5. things in singapore are not that expensive afterall
6. when u get to factory outlet, just buy first..think later...u'll regret it
7. i will not eat western food for the next month
8. compliments shuld be given freely
9. eating 8 bucks chai fan(panda express!) really irritates me to the max..
10. home is the best!


a list of the things i've eaten until now...that's not found in US...and i missed..
1. xing zhou bee hoon
2. home-cook chicken soup
3. bak chor mee
4. yakult
5. home cook dinner (fish, soup, egg, chai xin!)
6. teh peng
7. roti prata from ah fang

so ppl...wat have u eaten todae??

"if things are not wat it seems...just take it that it is not wat it seems..."

just one word...

HOME!

"hate me, miss me...now u gotta kiss me..."

又到了这个月份... 八月...是个让人惆怅的日子, 不止因为开学...
八月的天空, 总是看起来灰灰的, 阳光也似乎失去了朝气...
八月的天, 又让我想起你,
回到以前和过去... 回到了不想回忆的从前...
也因为在这个月里... 才放下一直戴着的面具....

人也常常后悔当初所做的决定... 也后悔当初应该做而没做的决定...

我喜欢冲澡... 喜欢热呼呼的水冲在我的身体...仿佛能洗去一切的困扰...刺痛得让皮肤感觉干净...
看着因蒸汽而弥漫的浴室, 如同在梦境里游走....
再看着朦胧的镜子...看不见自己的倒影... 让我能似乎忘了自己的存在...
在梦与现实里徘徊...

"树欲静而风不止, 子欲养而亲不在..."

been listening to old songs...mmm...and i feel old songs are the best...somehow their lyrics are closer to the the heart ba...and mabbe itz becoz that i'm a lyrics person ba... songs with meaning to mi is more important than songs that just sounds nice but has no meanings... or mabbe i'm just getting older....

left abt 3 more days in LA before flying back to singapore... mixed feelings...on one side, i miss my family and frens back in SG, can't wait to see them...and eat some chicken rice, laksa, etc etc... but on the otherhand... i like the laid back lifestyle here....things seems to be in less of a hurry, better scenery, and more time to escape the urbanization and over-crowded singapore... one thing for sure..i know i'll miss my 6 weeks stay here... but yeah..life goes on still... this will juz be another rite of passage that i'll pass thru before finally turning into a full fledge working adult zombie in the little island of singapore...rushing thru my life catching MRT, fighting off commando aunties for seats on the bus and train, fending off the throngs of teens that swarm town area during meal breaks...and defending myself from the blistering sun and unrelenting rain...

oh well..time to face the truth... and good luck for my examz on thurs...haizz...

疯了

已经沉默了好久好久
已经静得我忘了如何要求
寂寞让人沾上了无法丢
你给的爱却始终无法保留

已经被冷落了好久好久
已经让我忘了曾经与你爱过
你给的寂寞让我无法丢
你的爱告诉我如何收留

疯了 想你想得疯了
忘了如何再让自己快乐
忘了从今以后要如何如何

疯了 想你想得疯了
想得我忘了如何再快乐
想得我忘了今后要如何如何

"life is about believing the lies others lay for you... believing that they never lied in the first place.."

Krav
26 years of sailing
Nocturnal and alcoholic
Small eyes, wrong perceptions
Taurus monkey man

Kravings, Otaku, Hermit
Anecdotal, metaphorical, illogical
Never trusting, suspecting
Gundams-lover
Yearning, loathing
U and only u

Living freely,
Ostentatious, Obnoxious,
Venturing, learning
Enduring storms
Sailing the high seas,

Yours truly
Only,
Undyingly










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