i hate to wake up in the morning feeling pissed... i hate it when i dream of bad things in the morning... i hate it losing... i hate damn a lot of things....
well... dreams and reality is often a veri common theme in anime...and knowing wat a sucker i am for animation...normalli animations are the inspiration for some of my weird and cranky philosophy... and this is just another of those times....
was watching magical lyrical girl nanaho a's ...ya..it's a mouthful... but as its something recommended by my bro..so i watched it anyhow... and yes..it got me thinking again...
will you choose to be trapped in a eternal slumber but with your deepest desire and wishes fulfilled...living the happiest life you can never achieve in reality, and be with the person you hold dearest til all of eternity.. or will you choose to still struggle on in the real world...dealing with the loss of your dear one...living a life of regretting some of the bad decision that you made previously...
which would it be... it's a tempting option rite... to be able to live veri happily in a dream...a dream which everything goes your way...and you no need to be sad, worried or everything...you just gotta sleep...and ignore everything that's going on... afterall, everyone's entitled to their own happiness... and choosing this little happiness without hurting anyone ain't such a bad choice afterall... who would want to live a life of regrets/pain and simply wishing things would go their way and hoping everything will not go wrong...
though for mi...i guess i will still try to live in the real world...it's tougher...it's harder..and it's much less happier... but happiness is in a state of mind... regrets are the feelings that reminds you not to make further mistakes... and pain are a reminder that you are in the real world... i rather hold something with my hands...than just having it in my mind... i guess i'm materialistic afterall...
having disturbed slp...been dreaming and dreaming damn weird dreams... alwaes wake up in the middle of the nite before going back to slp again....mabbe itz the morning shift...mabbe i cannot rest my brain...wateva the case...itz not good...damn...
past few daes of work was pretty good...with month end coming..been chasing...and getting results...and tt's alwaes good...hope that this month will be a betta month... foresee greater challenges in the work place soon...
"for every excuses that i found... there can only be one underlying reason..."
these are the songs that are quite meaningful....contrasting lyrics between love and war... "Dear Mr. President" (feat. Indigo Girls)
Dear Mr. President, Come take a walk with me. Let's pretend we're just two people and You're not better than me. I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly.
What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street? Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep? What do you feel when you look in the mirror? Are you proud?
How do you sleep while the rest of us cry? How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye? How do you walk with your head held high? Can you even look me in the eye And tell me why?
Dear Mr. President, Were you a lonely boy? Are you a lonely boy? Are you a lonely boy? How can you say No child is left behind? We're not dumb and we're not blind. They're all sitting in your cells While you pave the road to hell.
What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away? And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay? I can only imagine what the first lady has to say You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine.
How do you sleep while the rest of us cry? How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye? How do you walk with your head held high? Can you even look me in the eye?
Let me tell you 'bout hard work Minimum wage with a baby on the way Let me tell you 'bout hard work Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away Let me tell you 'bout hard work Building a bed out of a cardboard box Let me tell you 'bout hard work Hard work Hard work You don't know nothing 'bout hard work Hard work Hard work Oh
How do you sleep at night? How do you walk with your head held high? Dear Mr. President, You'd never take a walk with me. Would you?
"The Rest Of My Life" Blessed Union of Soul
I know you're heard the excuses before So I won't waste your time and I'll keep this short I've bound my emotions 'cause I can't afford to be wrong I know we've talked about being good friends So we've been real careful of the signals we've sent But all of your glances they came and the went to my head And I'm not a man to throuw words to the wind When I said "I love you" that's what I meant And I plan to show you if it takes me the rest of my life The rest of my life The rest of my life I don't want to rush this cause my greatest fear is taking for granted what's taken us years To build from the ground up with all of the tears that we cried We've taken our time and for this I'm so glad Now we can be sure that this moment will last We've traveled a road of mistakes in our past to get her And I'm not about to throw words to the wind When I said "I love you" that's what I meant And I'm going to show you if it takes me the rest of my life The rest of my life The rest of my life And I'm not a man to throw words to the wind When I said "I love you" well, that's what I meant And I plan to show you if it takes me the rest of my life
"think of something that's worst off and things will naturally be better..."
finalli managed to kick my own ass into going for a jog just now.... had a slow 2 round...and seriously... stamina is worse than before le..damn..at this rate gonna be hard to pass ippt...time to shape up and buck up laio....
somebody told me that they learn things abt life from mi... haha...kinda surprised me a little.. lol...i never knew there was things abt me that can be learnt and inspire ppl...ahhaa..but oh well...at least i live a wen xin wu kui life...
was watching round the world in 80 days just now... kinda inspired me to set some target for places i wanna see... hopefully within 10 yrs i can clear at least half of them... for now...these are the places i most wanted to see...
1. walk the great world of china 2. climb up mt fuji (to mid at least) 3. explore the sphinx 4. pray at the vatican church 5. scuba dive at great barrier reef 6. visit rome 7. sail down venice in a gondola...
"there are things to life that far outweighs yourself..."
after a veri long while...finalli found my way back into the cinema to catch a movie again... wanted to watch sweeny todd...but too bad there's oni the morning show..and ended up watching L:change the world instead... it's a spin off from deathnote... but still i find it a pretty entertaining watch on a fri nite... if u expecting a lot of ryuk or wat...hard luck...it's all about L and how he save the world... recommended by me ba... upcoming movies to watch: jumper, sweeny, leap years
happy vdae folks! for all those with dates...hope it was a good one ar...ahah ... for those without..try harder next yr ba...
went to the zouk winebar yest nite with my colleagues...had a pretty good time looking at the crowd... and the senseless chit chat with the bunch of guys...ahah...was out and oni reached home at 5am la...balls... haha...but it was fun too...
slpt n slpt the whole of todae... plaed psp, comp, and watch some vcds... pretty slack day for mi too...oh...and i've made a new fren todae...
to glorify international frenship day...me n cenwei decide to intro a fren to each other...lol... so kudos! new fren found..
"the road maybe long...the hills maybe steep... but the heart runs eternal..."
wat do u do when there's no one to watch movie with you... watch it online/rent vcds to watch at home... list of titles that i watched in the past few daes...
1. CJ7 2. Kungfu dunk 3. Warlords 4. Guess who 5. Stomp the yard 6. The condemned
but i still like to watch movies in the cinema...ahh...
had a cny gathering at my house...it was good... alot of ppl turn up...honestly, thanks to all of you who made a effort to come down..i know my house abit ulu... hopefully..the food was good enuf... and hope u all had fun... and here's a foto so show how mani ppl turn up... and dun worry zz and jas...you're with us still... to those whom are unable to turn up..dun worriez...i stilll miss u all too...
"life's so much betta with frens... frens are so much betta without lies..."
been waking up to a series of bad dream recently... it just left me feeling awful and irritated....every morning when i wake up...there's just this sucky feelings rite at the pit of my stomach... and tt led me to be veri grouchy... knn... i damn hate this feeling of greyness...
aha...it's CNY again... first day of CNY todae...everyone had a great reunion dinner i supposed.... mine wasnt' fantastic... had it oni with my mom cuz my fantastic bro went out to shop for new yr clothes unknowingly that all shops are closed half day... and so he made a wasted trip to see ppl close shop... CNY basically isn't much for mi... juz some visiting...some card gaming... and as alwaes.... it's oni between my both paternal/maternal gramps house...
i feel quite distance from my maternal side relatives...nothing much in common to talk abt...or mabbe perhaps everyone is either married/have kids/too young... tt's why nothing much in common to talk abt with me... but for paternal side...all the aunts are alwaes more frenly..and cousins too are ard my generation... so there's alwaes more fun at the paternal end...
i think i'm slowly evolving into a person like my father liao... some of my aunt actualli said the way i behave and protray myself is veri similar to my dad... i think of tt as a compliment of course...ahhaa.. afterall, he's somene who devote his life ( and i realli meant tt literally) to the family... and tt's how a real man should be imo...
aha...and my bro recommend mi a site to plae some online dai dee and mahjong..so if u all got the cravings but hate to lose actual money...ya can go www.viwawa.com to try out some of the games there... fast loading, simple concept... easy for ppl to chase some boredom out of your life...
damn...tml muz work...ahh...sux... but oh well..ppl..try to make it for the monday steamboat okiez? dun let lecturers/fyp/bf/gf/cells to stop u from coming! seeya all on monday!
"when the sun goes down and the moon comes up... i'm left shining on..."
somehow...i think this is one hell of a zao sai song...the lyrics...the feel...it is a zao sai song la! but i love this song too...esp the way the singer vibrate like a zombie...
Honey why you calling me so late? It's kinda hard to talk right now. Honey why are you crying? Is everything okay? I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud
Well, my girl's in the next room Sometimes I wish she was you I guess we never really moved on It's really good to hear your voice say my name It sounds so sweet Coming from the lips of an angel Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye But girl you make it hard to be faithful With the lips of an angel
It's funny that you're calling me tonight And, yes, I've dreamt of you too And does he know you're talking to me Will it start a fight No I don't think she has a clue
Well my girl's in the next room Sometimes I wish she was you I guess we never really moved on It's really good to hear your voice say my name It sounds so sweet Coming from the lips of an angel Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye But girl you make it hard to be faithful With the lips of an angel
It's really good to hear your voice say my name It sounds so sweet Coming from the lips of an angel Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye But girl you make it hard to be faithful With the lips of an angel
And I never wanna say goodbye But girl you make it hard to be faithful With the lips of an angel
Honey why you calling me so late?
"better late than never... better ever than late... "
been watching this reality show called solitary on tv... it's about keeping ppl in isolated cells....testing their limits...and it kinda work likes a psychology test... . initialli they are given some info abt their opponents...and they will be put thru extreme challenges alone...the psychology of being alone...and the pressure of clearing challenges...being made to rembr number sequences while deprived of slp and warmth...all these stuffz..i doubt i will last veri long... but it kinda got me thinking of how will i survived in this world all alone... and tt's abit like "i am legend".. if i'm the last guy...i think i'll kill myself le ba... join the whole gang...
and my unicorn is near completion liao...left a coat of white to spray...and some fine tuning plus decal and top coat left...can make it for CNY! yay! my 95% effort work will finally be displayed soon! wahahaa...
din had a smooth week at work too..started hearing things liao... ppl leaving...and the politics that embroiled in the office... and yes..there's office politics everywhere...each trying to outdo, outstab, and out climb each other...i guess tt's office version of survivor ba... the most ruthless and cunning survive... will i survive this game...i thing i have 3000 plus more days to know...
CNY is here...but somehow...the mood still din hit me... ah well..at least i have the steamboat to look forward to...