sometimes, if we do think about it...we are actualli not leading our own life... we are alwaes living for someone else, living in someone shadows or just trying hard to be someone when we aren't actualli them... life perhaps can be much easier if ppl are living the way they want it to be... somehow we know that we must work hard during examz, can't slack and muz mug more, all these decisions that we make ourselves are so called "self inflicted" i guess... perhaps tt's wat i learn in consumer behavior..."cognitive disonnance"...we try to justify ourself and the choices in life that we made... perhaps i guess...
no one took a knife and forced me to take up responsibility...but i do it nonetheless...took up responsibility for the family, took up responsibility for other stuffz... but why do i do that?? sometimes i have no idea why too... i guess itz juz about living up to others expectation and not disappoint others... or is it simply i care too much...
i know this post simply dun make much sense oso...itz juz to clear all the mumbo jumbo away from my head...for i know...itz gonna be another sleepless nite....
"when you start doubting, you start to lose yourself...i lost tonite..."
