Thursday, August 04, 2005
the 7 yr itch
7 years le...or rather...going onto the 7th year...come aug 15, it will be the 7th year since u left me... i know i should be getting on with my life, concentrating on my studies etc...but still...life is no longer the same without you around... i know i will be happier if you are still around me...200%... though u cannot realli help me with all my probz...but at least ur presence is enough to calm my soul... the more i grow...the more i miss you... i realli reallli realli hope tt u can see me grow up... to see me start my own family...to see ah yong grow up... but still...u are no longer around...all the things tt i want u to see...u can't see them anymore...i know u hate to leave us...but u were forced to.... but it juz came as too fast...too sudden... after 7 years...and it was still sudden to me.... damn it...i realli hated god fer taking u away frm mi.... perhaps itz a relief to u...for it hurts me to see u suffering while i cannot do a thing... i hate myself for not spending more time with you...for not listening to you....for making you angry... for every little wrong things i done....i realli hate myself...i din treasure the last 2 years when u were around... and oni til now i start to regret.... itz too late...itz juz too late... i trird to be strong..i reali tried...at least in front of mom...so tt she wunt worry...but deep down i know...she miss u as much as i do... damn...how i wish u were still here.....but i know...itz juz tt impossible....
2:35 AM
