Cravings, Desires and Addictions

Decision

2011-03-03T02:31:00.002+08:00

It has been decided. The date will be this fri.
Many ppl are questioning me why in earth would i quit a so call high paying job when I have yet to secure
Any other offers. But who actually bothers abt I felt.

I dread going to work.
I dread the nonsensical n brainless emails.
I hate the silence at night when no friends are around and everyone is slogging in silence.
I hate having no time for my family.
I hate to start my emails with "apologies" when it ain't my fucking fault.
I hate feeling angsty at work.

So what if the money is decent.
So what if my hours are not exactly long.

Putting everything down. I just see more pros than cons.
So why on earth do you all want me to stay on.

I just want to find my smile back.

2011

2011-01-25T04:42:00.002+08:00

Din realize I have not posted here for 1 whole yr.
And yes. I'm back.

And reason why I'm posting is cause I don't feel good.
And this is simply a outlet whereby I let my guard down and my thoughts be known.
And after one yr. I dont think anyone will read this dead blog anymore.

It seems that life is unpredictable. One moment you are healthy as a fiddle. Next moment you are notify your expiry date.
It simply have its way of twisting your arms at the moment when it hurts you the most.
And don't worry. I'm not talking abt myself. At least not yet I hope.

It just kinda Sux to know Tt such a young life is due to expire sometime in the near future.
Even though I don't know u, perhaps only by name, your plight grieves me as well.

Nevertheless. I hope you stay strong and overcome this adversity in your life.
This will be your biggest battle.

Good luck and all the best.

2010

2010-01-18T01:51:00.001+08:00

yeah..itz the new year..din realize i din update for so long...
but ya... first post of the year... go buy 4d k?

time flies..2010...things zooming by... work/weekend/age/parents/money...
ya... everything just flies by...

kinda not such a good thing...

finalli played some darts todae...great to have the feel back...
perhaps we should plae more of it...
something to do tog...

rather than modelling hur..which seems anti social cuz i will be hermitize at home smelling thinner... though itz still my passion..kinda like a cheapo pursuit of art....

perhaps itz just my way of doing something i am good at... .

perhaps i outstayed my stay tonite...

good nitez...

"my greatest weakness remains the same...it seems..."

ramblings

2009-10-28T00:53:00.000+08:00

yesh..itz another one of those sporadic posts again..
damn sianz of work..
kinda have a idea on how to focus at work from now til end of yr..
gotta work hard for appraisal..
though figures are realli a pain in the ass...

other things as well..not rosy..
dunno wat/how...

i guess...famous saying..see how...

"perhaps...itz juz a in the moment thing.."

2009-10-02T00:57:00.002+08:00

i know..it's been ages...
but juz came across something that i needa share...
interpret it however you want...

有一位单身女子刚搬了家，她发现隔壁住了一户穷人家，一个寡妇与两个小孩子。
有天晚上，那一带突然停了电，那位女子只好自己点起了蜡烛，没一会儿，突然听到有人敲门。
原来是隔壁邻居的小孩，只见他紧张地问：“阿姨，请问你家有蜡烛吗？”

女子心想： “他们家竟穷到连蜡烛都没有吗？千万别借他们，免得被他们依赖了！”
于是，对孩子吼了一声说：“没有！”
正当她准备关上门时，那穷小孩展开关爱的笑容说:“我就知道你家一定没有”
说完，竟然从怀里拿出两根蜡烛，说“妈妈和我怕你一个人住又没有蜡烛，所以我带两根来送你”

"惜福"

2009-08-19T02:17:00.003+08:00

yupz...itz me and my sporadic postings once again...
blog's pretty dead recently...

anyway.. juz hope that everyone enjoying their life rite now...
with 6 weddings coming my way... i guess life's pretty much a bliss for everyone...

though there are bad news too..ppl with jobs concerns, r/s probz..
but hope everyone will see the silver lining soon...

yeahz.. tt's abt it... til next time..

"look towards the bright side...arbor look for me..."

aug

2009-08-05T08:34:00.000+08:00

been having unsettled dreams lately... work-wise...rubbish-wise...
damn sianz... work getting more n more challenging...defusing more n more bombs... hopefully things dun blow up in my face...
counting down to taiwan.... gonna need this break real soon...
and hall 8 gang..note our bbq this sat ya....

"sometimes the things we get addicted to are the more painful things..."

2009-07-31T03:05:00.000+08:00

another mth came n goes...
been a decent mth...
be it at work..time spend with frens...
everything has been good...

i know there are many who ain't living life as good as me...
but itz all in the mind... we all will pull thru...
or i believe u will...

counting down to my taiwan trip in aug... can't simply wait...
to all my aug babies fren... happy aug...

"keep rockin on..."

2009-07-20T01:53:00.000+08:00

我不想忘记你

我在向前走却像在退后
我在用想念狂欢寂寞
越快乐就越失落
爱将我们高高举起以后
再让心学会坠落
怀念这宽阔的天空
虽然那里空气很稀薄

我努力想起你笑着哭泣
让自己深爱你再学会放弃
我不想忘记你
就算可以
我宁可记得所有伤心
我努力想起你苦也没关系
用祝福和感激勇敢失去你
爱你这个决定
虽然艰辛
我不说对不起

一个人不懂什么是拥有
两个人不懂怎么把握
越在乎就越脆弱
爱将我们高高举起以后
再让心学会坠落
怀念这宽阔的天空
虽然那里空气很稀薄

我努力想起你笑着哭泣
让自己深爱你再学会放弃
我不想忘记你
就算可以
我宁可记得所有伤心
我努力想起你苦也没关系
用祝福和感激勇敢失去你
爱你这个决定
虽然艰辛
我不说对不起

我努力想起你笑着哭泣
让自己深爱你再学会放弃
我不想忘记你
就算可以
我宁可记得所有伤心
我努力想起你苦也没关系
用祝福和感激勇敢失去你
爱你这个决定
虽然艰辛
我不说对不起

in case u think i'm not ard....

2009-07-15T11:50:00.000+08:00

long time no post...so just post one entry for fun ba...
happy birthday to the july folksie... keep rocking on...

2009-06-26T10:58:00.002+08:00

什么才是关系..关系对我而言, 是人与人之间的关联几联系.
也就是说, 它是影响着两个人的一种东西.

任何时刻, 一个人的举动都会影响着别人, 产生了互动.
因此, 只要是与你有关的人, 他们都会被影响与牵连.
正因如此, 我们的一举一动更应该自我批评, 检点.

要是凡事都以自己的利益和出发点着想, 这就并非顾及到周围的人,
也就是说自己的行动已经不顾虑别人, 不把自己与别人的关系放在心里.

所以, 自私的人们, 任由他去吧. 我们任何关系也没有!!

changes

2009-06-18T11:33:00.002+08:00

quite alot of things happened in the past weeks... major changes...major jinx... no idea why... but shit just happened... perhaps it's the time... perhaps it's the people.... but there ain't no use in pointing fingers when it's totally not my prob... would be wrong to do so...

all we can do is stay ard..be ard... bro in army le too...one less voice in the house..kinda empty as well... sianz... no more dota to watch...

okiez...enuf ramblings.. time to wash up...

ASSorted ramblings

2009-06-14T14:26:00.003+08:00

a person mentality need not necessary increase over time... on the contrary..they might just decreased...but of course, we call it senile dementia for that case...

sometimes when faced with a decision that's hard to choose...i prefer to not choose at all.. either way... both are not good...

and recently hooked on looking for good food/buffets... foodie frens..interested?
tml will be to Greenhouse cafe at Ritz... hope itz good...

hmmm...realli veri disjointed entry...juz like my mind rite now...

"cry father cry mother..."

bad times...

2009-06-05T11:33:00.002+08:00

想起我不完美　
你會不會
逃離我生命的範圍
想著你的滋味　
我會不會
把這個枕頭　變得甜美

想起白天的約會　
忘了晚上的咖啡
只怕感情如潮水　
遠離我夢中的堡壘

一個人失眠　全世界失眠
無辜的街燈　守候明天
幸福的失眠　只是因為害怕閉上眼
如何想你想到六點　如何愛你愛到終點

想起我的時候　你會不會　
好像我一樣不能睡
想像你的曖昧　我會不會...

"珍惜眼前的幸福, 往往不是那么容易看到..."

weekend....weakend...

2009-06-01T11:35:00.002+08:00

slpt almost 20 hrs for the past 2 days... tt's almost as much as wat i normally have for the whole weekdays... muz be a sign of aging..tt's why need to slp so much...
but feels good nonetheless.... managed to go out plae some soccer, get some sun/exercise...
pretty good actually...
ate indian food, said no to MJ, played DW strikeforce...
pretty darn decent weekend to slack in....
but then...here comes monday...
on with the week...

"we get through no matter wat... "

angry

2009-05-29T11:24:00.002+08:00

there's nothing i hate more than getting blame for something i did not do... or rather...getting blame when it wasn't my fault... this is super duper common at work...and by now i should have gotten used to it..but NO... i still hate getting blame for something that's not my fault...
damn it...
if ppl dun reply..itz my fault...
if nothing gets done... it's my fault...
if you do something and others screw it up for you..it's my fault...

screw it...

rewards

2009-05-22T11:22:00.003+08:00

sometimes we often need a reminder on why we are working so hard for...
below is a perfect reminder for myself why i hide myself away to cut/sand/paint my models...

Dear Contestants,
Thank you for your participation! Good news! Your Gundam model kit entry/entries have been shortlisted for the Final round of judging.
Please kindly bring down your Gundam model kits entries to

Ngee Ann City, Takashimaya Atrium B2
Date - 28 May 2009 (Thurs)
Time - 1pm to 7pm

if you see something like the above at taka...dun doubt it..it's mine...

"you can have all the tools, but without the heart it's useless..."

and i guess i'm back...

2009-05-14T12:21:00.003+08:00

been away for quite some time... lack of internet... plus other busy happenings in my life....
snapshot of what i've been doing for the past 2,3 weeks...

lunchtime porridge buffet with the shenton folks... + jasmine...

chionging the entry for the upcoming mid yr competition...

taking up modelling courses...

excessive mahjong almost every weekend...

pwah... how happening can my life get rite... for those who think tt ppl who work london shift have no life, aha! i prove u wrong!!

lotsa things to do...and so little time...

and today's the 1st yr anniv of my gramps' passing... no crowds..juz a simple offering of incense... hmm... so very diff from last yr... guess ppl are starting to get used to him being not ard anymore... perhaps that's how ppl adapt...by getting used to it... and soon it'll be my dad's 11th anniv too... hmm.... tt's fast.. where did all those years go...

oh well...grandma also called me " useless" jokingly today... my best guess is that she's really itching for a great grand children liao... most of my cousins have already shown her the other halves...and being the eldest grandson, i dun think i can possibly show her my whole gundam collection...she'll confirm flipped... heh heh heh...

to all those going for grad trips soon..take care n have fun... stay quarantine when u come back..dun come near me! and ms toh who's overseas in taiwan rite now, going to HK and end up quarantine when back...hope the toothache's gone and enjoying urself ba... til next time..

"the only reason for doing the things I do is me..."

25 going 26

2009-04-30T19:43:00.002+08:00

in another 4 hour plus..will be officially 26...
normally in the past..i'll put in all my wish lists...and ppl or myself will slowly fulfill them...
however this yr... i really can't think of wat do i want... or wat do i wish for....

seems that my life pretty good now... busy with work, busy with my models, busy hanging out with all my close frens.. no such needs to fill it with unwanted wants...

welll ... terminating my internet..will only be back online after 12may...
as such...seeya then...
u cna still sms/tag me to wish me happy birthday one...i wunt mind it at all~ hahaha...

"thanks you for being you..."

bother

2009-04-23T11:14:00.002+08:00

almost a mth since the previous post...
lesser n lesser things to post....tt shows tt it is a good thing i guess...
cuz my blog is more of a ranting place for me...
approaching 26 le... nothing feels different yet...
no big deal to me too i guess... just another day...

many upcoming events to look forward to.... esp the june trip...tt i hope will work out...
today woke up to the theme of "being bothered"...

makes me wonder sometimes how bothered are the ppl ard me... i guess, if ppl can't be bothered... neither should i be... it realli is impossible to make 1 hand clap no matter how hard u swing... if it connects...it's more of a 1 handed slap i guess...

okiez...end of rubbish..can't wait for sat! huat ar!

"keep sanding, drilling, and going..."

nite cycling

2009-03-13T12:20:00.002+08:00

hall folksie... planning a nite cycling //supper for maybe sometime in apr due to overwhelming request... should be over a weekend nite and start from ecp to other places...
route not confirmed...
pls inform if u gian so that i know how mani ppl to expect..

and kam, send mi ur apr schedule so i can arrange to fit u in...see..i'm so good to u! ahhaha...

"even though i try hard not to...i guess i'm still missing..."

passion

2009-03-06T12:00:00.003+08:00

something to think abt...
what are the 5 things you know u definitely will still like/love in 5 yrs time... that should be your passion... i guess i've only 4 main things that i'm passionate about...

1. family
2. friend
3. gundam
4. darts

i guess these will be the things to hold onto when you're lost and in need of a direction... hold onto them tight...and live passionate...

and yes..sat ecp...meet 130 @ cityhall or 2pm ecp mac straight...

outing

2009-03-03T11:50:00.002+08:00

folks, ecp this coming sat... blade/cycle/dinner
current turn-out: sy/mx/th/me/cw
sms if interested

"why ask me when i don't have the option to choose anyway..."

thankful

2009-02-24T23:30:00.002+08:00

in giving thanks, we learn to appreciate things...

i'm thankful for frens that are always there..

i'm thankful for being able to afford a job...

i'm thankful for having a home to come back to after work...

i'm thankful for the fact i'm still breathing and living...

i'm thankful for ppl who still bother...

"for everything that has happened, thanks..."

gone..

2009-02-16T00:31:00.002+08:00

yesh... been away for veri long...
and trust me... i'm juz gonna be away even longer..
adios migos...

'i'm not me and you're not you..."

cold...

2009-01-20T10:52:00.002+08:00

i guess sometimes pride isn't such a good thing.. no doubt, it motivates you to work harder, so as to achieve a result you can be proud of... however, sometimes when you are unable to swallow your pride and bow down, you'll start to lose things instead... whenever i think that it's other ppl's actions that are wrong and ain't no fault of my own... i'll start ignoring ppl... perhaps it might be realli my fault... something i might have unwittingly done... but if i'm never gonna realize this... it might juz be the first step to losing something precious... and yeah...the pride in me juz said "so be it"...

"ppl rest i do extra, but the extra is what nobody ask for and cares about..."

first in 2009

2009-01-14T10:24:00.002+08:00

well... introducing my first darling in 2009.... Mr. Barclays....
see...ain't it cute eh.... u can see more here....

"length is always something that dun matters...what matters is the intensity..."

rambles shambles

2009-01-12T00:38:00.002+08:00

not much to update upon... except for the usual modelling, jogging...
oh ya...oni thing noticeable i guess is dying my hair...and getting a new pair of specs...tt costs a bomb liao...time to scrimp and save...

gonna have a massive update on my models soon le...since i completed a couple liao...
oh..and i pretty like the terminal too...

"i don't know what you are waiting for, but i know i'm waiting for u..."

2009

2009-01-04T02:15:00.002+08:00

been some time since last post..and yes... happy new year ppl... hope everyone have a betta yr ahead... for ppl who's dealing with shit since last yr...hopefully everything is flushed cleanly and so ya get a betta time this yr round...

new yr is alwaes time for new things...and since cny is ard the corner..hopefully most of ya have gotten ur new yr clothes n stuffz... though i do have some items that i need still...

yupz yupz.. my updates are getting more sparodic and irregular ba... deal with tt... though i still replies tag..ahah..

and ya..as i wrote in FB, cny dinner/steamboat anyone? and let's mj... (no lode..mj is not refering to u!! hahahaa!! )

cheerios folksie...

"you're a god and i am not...i guess i just gotta let you go..."

deadline... for 2008

2008-12-27T01:23:00.002+08:00

christmas is over is juz flash... and with that..signifies ending of 2008...
and herald the coming of 2009... so have you been a good boy/girl this yr?? if u din receive tt mani presents...i guess notz... though i had like quite a fair bit of chocs this yr from colleagues...

now itz kinda like entering a new phase of life...where ppl u work with are the ones u see more than your mom... tt's not a good sign...cuz 1. you're working too hard; 2. your company is working you too hard ; 3. your company is folding so they've have no choice to make you work hard...

all 3 ain't realli good scenarios i guess...hopefully i wunt be made redundent...

and with the new yr coming... itz alwaes good to make resolutions... and think of excuses why u din keep your resolutions the past yrs...

well.. here's mine.. .

1. to walk more
2. to climb faster
3. to run further
4. to be more attentive
5. to do more models...

and ya...resolutions are supposed to be the ones that you are able to control... imo of course...

"a end often marks a new beginning... 31dec will be the end..."

2008-12-20T20:44:00.002+08:00

first time i worked til i see the sun...
limits are breaking...
breaks are falling..which translates to a good thing...
ageing from the lack of slp..which aint a good thing...
caught yes man...good show...gonna catch ip man next...
time for christmas shopping...
merry christmas dear frens... though it aint' a very merry yr...

"say yes only when you wanted to"

routine

2008-12-14T20:43:00.002+08:00

getting lazier to blog/bitch/rant...
nothing much happens...
work, sleep, work, sleep, models...
1 piece too...decent club session yest too...
fishes everywhere...

"i ain't a cat that eat fish..."

just me...

2008-12-10T10:40:00.002+08:00

sometimes i wonder why did i even bother... perhaps my time is worth less than others...
i guess it's time that i get busy and start to get on with my own life....

"it's hard to care when ppl dun really give a damn..."

round and round

2008-12-09T11:59:00.003+08:00

had a major slacking weekend... catch up on my sleep debt...basically slp like 12 hrs a day... spend the whole weekends in isolation... sometimes it does feels good to be left alone like this... only sometimes though... guess the world still rotates without me being a part of it...

updated my gundam blog too..

"why bother doing anything when you're not going to do it seriously..."

new loves, okiez..not so new...

2008-11-30T22:41:00.002+08:00

cw, i think u might love this too..ahaha...

"for everyday that goes by... is one day i've earned..."

endin of an end

2008-11-30T03:15:00.002+08:00

well... 2008 is ending soon..so what have we achieved for this year...mmm...
yr end is alwaes a sian thing...cuz it's the time we start to look back n reflect on ourselves...
but one good thing come out of all this...and tt's christmas presents..

and like always... i'll layout my christams wish list juz like what i do every year@ hehe.. u all know wat to do ba...

1. street soccer boots - bought
2. Gundam models
3. working clothes for the new year
4. nice hp accessories
6. get tanner/fitter/stronger
7. short getaway out of singapore
8. fabulous christmas party -
9. big fat bonus/paycheck - not possible
10. new laptop

"we only die when we are forgotten, not when our hearts ceased to beat..."

ramblings

2008-11-22T23:19:00.003+08:00

okiez...time for some advertisements.... for gals who wanna get some accessories, or for guys who wanna get some unique accessories for your gals... pls check out http://pinjewels.etsy.com

craftmanship is nice... price affordable... and can even customized order for it to be realli special and unique..ahaa.. (okiez..see..i promised le..i'll link ur site to my blog too yp...)

well..made some plans for the upcoming week...tml gonna go plae soccer..hopefully work out abit n get some sun... yesh...mi..plae soccer...u din see it wrong... with the year ending..itz time to catch up on old frenships n make new ones... have you made a fren todae?

oh..and congrats to all BAKUC winners..though i'm not one...bleahz... will be back next yr with betta stuffz...

"life's not tough... u/i juz gotta be tougher..."

a change for the better

2008-11-20T09:53:00.003+08:00

yupz...recently things seems to become betta... thinkings have been straighten...work seems to be getting better too... yest actually managed to leave office at 130! it's like the earliest ever for me... i'm sure there's lotsa jealous eyes on me..but who cares... i deserve it! ahhaa... or rather...we deserve it!

heard some pretty decent news in office too... but everything's still too early to confirm...gotta start thinking about where i wanna to be in future too... mmmm....

oh ya..to the exam kias.. good luck and jiayou!

"stay true, be true...and ppl will see the real you..."

...

2008-11-14T12:26:00.003+08:00

kinda start to hate my job now...it's not abt the working hours..it's not abt the people... it's just about the helpless i feel when i can identify a problem but juz unable to get ppl to resolve them... this absolutely sucks... ppl who has been in the job for over 20 yrs are so fixed in their ways of doing things and refuses to change and acknowledge mistakes... it's juz so damn f-up...

getting more n more unhappy...getting more n more grumpy...someone juz kill mi plz...

"when you dun see a light at the end of the tunnel...do u still keep walking?"

...

2008-11-13T13:19:00.002+08:00

it feels good to be loved... loved by so many depts who wants me... i like stability in everything i do... but everytime i settled down in something... something have to come and disrupt the balance... i just "loved" it...
dun make promises when you can't keep by it... ppl rather over promise and under deliver... i rather not make promises and deliver more...
i'm just a delivery boy after all... perhaps the cleaning auntie can train me in using the vacuum cleaner...den i can help out in cleaning the office too...

on a 2nd note.. finally managed to catch 10 hrs of slp...at long last... though it was still not a peaceful one...

"i dun fear you...i fear us..."

烦

2008-11-09T01:31:00.003+08:00

been having a tough time at work... itz not abt the long hours... but it's juz abt the way ppl do things...
things always turn awry when even ppl from your same company starts screwing up...and u alwaes have to be the one picking up the mess...
tt's something i realli realli hate a lot... i hate incompetency.. i hate when ppl can't be bothered... just a extra step..just a extra 2 mins... and things can go less wrong...
and the best thing is... ppl take it for granted that u are there to clear all the shit they left behind...
damn them all....argh...
simply summary...

最近比较烦, 比较烦, 比较烦
就因为伦墩工作就多了一半.
可是老斑还是不喜欢
所以我们就做工,做到吃早餐.

"even when you can't be bothered...i do..."

BAKUC! made it!

2008-11-05T04:47:00.002+08:00

wahahah... good news...i've made it for BAKUC!~! yeah!!
i mean my gundam made it for BAKUC...and BAKUC stands for BANDAI ACTION KID UNIVERSAL COMPETITION...

todae was on the train to work..suddenly a call came... and i was like...damn.. cuz i hate picking up calls on the mrt... and it was a call from Sheng Tai toys (org of BAKUC) asking me to bring down my model this coming thurs to TAKA... cool rite~ for the first time in my life... one of my works will be display in public.. hurrah~ hahaha....and i ended up being so happy until i cannot slp on the train...wahhahaa.... omg omg omg.... hahaa... i shall continue to bask in my own happiness and glory~ heez...

many thanks to those who have support me ar...and many apologies to the ppl that i've pang seh in the past month due to my model taking up my time...ahaha... without pangseh-ing u all...i wunt have made it in time for the comp~ hahaa..thanks once again~

booya~

"life's amazing..if u think u'll fail, you'll pass!"

end of recluse..

2008-11-04T04:35:00.003+08:00

well..u all know tt i've been living in recluse during my weekends for the past month... this is the end result of all that hard work... and yes..i'll be free for weekends onwards~ booked me~ asked mi out plzz~~ wahaha...

on my cab trip back from work...and yes...today is another of those chui days so i left only at 345... but ya.. as i was saying... there are thoughts that came across my head...
suddenly i thot of the times where i was hanging out with my dad and his fellows cabby frens in kopitiam... sitting there drinking tea and talking abt stuffz... mabbe tt's wat attribute to my character now too... since i do enjoy sitting down at kopitiam and la kopi or even have some beer... mmm... i guess wat we likes are do shaped from young... and ya.. kinda miss tt time...

also.. sometimes the simplest of the questions can be the hardest to answer... was asked something over dinner the other day that totally stumped me... i guess i do need to find out the answer to it eventually... eventually seems far...

"it does not matter how big or small something is... as long as i know i came across your mind.."

2008-11-02T13:59:00.001+08:00

bad news and more bad news... office is officially a sucky place for me...
i need good news....

lost

2008-10-31T13:53:00.001+08:00

happy halloween ppl..
happy trick and treating...

"i'm you...i mean yu... and you? "

MIA

2008-10-28T13:00:00.002+08:00

been mia for sometime... been too busy with my dearies to do ani posting... trying to rush deadlines for bakuc.. also nothing much has been happening... mabbe except the continuous sliding of the world's stock market... soon we'll all be eating grass and money will be totally worthless...

nothing much has happened... except a visit to red dot brewery at dempsey hill..pretty good place..but ya... no pix... apart from that... everydae has been a day of painting/ inhaling of thinner/lacquer... think i'm getting a permenant head damage too...

yeahz..and todae's a tues...and i'm still home...cuz me on leave...yeahz... tt's good... shiok!

"sometimes crying alone ain't all that bad..."

...

2008-10-21T04:40:00.001+08:00

the most impt thing is not to lie....

"damn..where does that salty water originate?"

i guess...

2008-10-20T02:20:00.004+08:00

weekend's over again...sat n sun just breeze past..din realli have much to do.. basically was another stay home week... spend the whole sat at home growing mould and touching up my gundams... trying to get it in time for BAKUC 2008... deadline drawing nearer too.. and there's still quite a few mods etc to get it done...damn...

lotsa hurdles have been thrown in the last week or so... muz at least clear the task tt min2 set... otherwise fri gonna be chamz... life's been full of ups and downs... at least my frens are... hopefully everythings gonna be okiez... r/s probs are alwaes so... complicated...

managed to haul my bum out on sunday... at least i went to cut hair..after which met ax for lunch... and sorrie to steph for not going ur bdae celebration ar.. hope u had a good one....

had crabs at this rather famous place in AMK, Mellben i think...
courtesy of laumic... food's pretty good n ex...
let the pics do the talking...

and ya...congrats to mr hh.. u're a man now! wahaha!

it's gonna be another busy week ahead...

and folks..ktv on sunday?

"and between now and then til i see you again.. i'll be loving you..."

someone...

2008-10-18T05:42:00.002+08:00

as ppl progress along... we tends to lose track of who we are.. sometimes we are angels..and at times... monsters... it's alwaes base on our judgement of how ppl are to see if they are monsters or angels..or even seemingly heroes... but all i know... i'm no monster...

"who's there...who cares... who i share..."

rubbish

2008-10-17T13:35:00.001+08:00

okiez...this is rubbishy... can watch asuma die until tear...jap animes are good sia...
either that...or i've become weaker...
ahh...tt's wat a 70hr work week does to ppl...chuiz...

"there's not much left..."

alive

2008-10-15T12:12:00.000+08:00

at the rate i'm going... i wonder if i'm more alive or dead....mmm....

my life

2008-10-11T16:03:00.002+08:00

mmm... recently din online much... as spending an ave of 14hrs a day in the office...
work has been really rewarding... clearing one stuff will be rewarded with more shit from others...
there were no family problems apart from the weekly squabbles over the inheritance... been missing out on alot of news on these...
din manage to catch up much with frens...14 hrs a day...where got time...
din even get to slp much or spend much time at home with my family... tt's i guess is the downside...
upside? there's no upside...

perhaps

2008-10-08T11:50:00.002+08:00

2 days in the new dept... first day work ended at 315am....yest nite left office at 430am... at the rate i'm going...i think i'm gonna have premature aging from the long hours in the office... i've got a very bad feeling about tonite though... hopefully not gonna be a 6am day...

i guess the more i move ard the office... the more i hear too...the gossips, the news... and esp more so after 1,2am at nite... the stuffz that was heard... omg... i guess tt's wat keep all the shift ppl going....

but seriously... working with ldn counterparts is rubbishy... they are not helpful, mean, and fking push everything to you when it's supposed to be handled by themselves... this aint' realli the kind of environment i wanna be in... haizz.... hopefully other ppl are having more fun in their life ba...

"i see your true colors...and leaders have to be lead by example..."

resolution

2008-10-05T02:11:00.002+08:00

had a team bbq today...actually wanted to confront my boss on some decision...but coincidentally he was away... after talking to many ppl...i've come to terms with that decision too...
from now on.. i'll be working permanent london shift: ie: you all wunt see mi ard in the morning le... but i'll still make an effort to come down for hall 8 thurs lunch...

i guess from now onwards, the only time u all can get me out will be weekends i supposed... no more prime time fri for me too.. ahh... oh well... time to shift to night mode...hopefully we'll all still see each other ba...ah well...it's a good time to accumulate some wealth too... more shift = more pay... and spend less on transport since everything is claimable! huat ar!

and yeah... many thanks to cat for so supportive and encouraging for the past few days.. listening to mi curse/complain/swear... realli appreciate it...

"we can't change destiny... but we change our mindset towards it..."

realization

2008-10-04T01:00:00.002+08:00

i've come to a realization... i used to have the naive thinking that if i help ppl..they will help me when the time comes... apparently...it seems like this is not how the world work...

i've been used, been discarded, been ignored.. and still i refuse to give up believing in the goodness of ppl... at least in the last lecture by randy pausch, he said something like this... " you will find goodness in ppl if you look long enough"... well... i guess i did... it seems that i still dun see the goodness around... i think enough is enough... from now on.. it'll be be helping ppl that have helped me... and not help ppl believing they will help me... it totally dun work that way it seems...

work has been a roller coaster ride...and i'm preparing myself for a big confrontation at work too... this might just be a new turning point... either i'm going to get stuck being veri busy...or i'm going to be damn free... and to quote..."til further notice"...
i'm not gonna sae aniting much for tt matter now... those who knew will know... and thanks for the support when i'm down...

spent much of my leave trying to mod my kampfer... my wips are uploaded in the other gundam blog.. trying to rush it for the upcoming BAKUC too.. hopefully this is gonna be a good exposure for me...

while waiting for a bus the other day... i've thought up for something too...
it seems that life is like waiting for a bus...this only applies to trips that are walkable only...

sometimes when u are waiting for a bus... you'll decide if you are gonna walk home or if u are waiting for the feeder service...first bus comes, not yours... you'll start thinking that it might be faster if u just walk home... however, being hopeful.. u''ll tell yourself you'll wait for the next bus that comes... however, the next bus that comes is still not yours.. and you'll start to regret...if only you have walked just now... but now you have committed your time to waiting already, walking off now will only waste the time you have waited...

and thus..you are caught in between... the feelings of regrets..and the feelings of wasting your time... you can't make up your mind in choosing to walk or continue to wait... i think this might be a situation some ppl might come across... and yeah..i do find myself in such situation often....without any idea on wat to do....

after thinking this thru...i guess my conclusion is....walk if your bus is not here... it's not economical to take bus now if you can walk since bus fares have increased... **bish**

"in life, we dun alwaes make the choices...sometimes we are the choices..."

BAKUC

2008-10-02T11:54:00.002+08:00

gotten myself a HGUC Kampfer a few days back at sun shine... and by a stroke of luck, i managed to get to know a pro modeler for gundams... and seeing his mod of the kampfer..tt kinda pushes me on to mod something myself too..
i might just join in the BAKUC (bandai action kit universal century) modelling competition this yr at suntec as well... depending on my progress for the mods... my first attempt at joining a official competition for modelling... i guess it's time to push my limits and see how far i can go at this hobby of mine...

some initial ideas i have now...

1. kampfer with blades (claws + sword strike blade)

2. kampfer with cannons from heavy arms

3. kampfer with scratch built bow guns

4. kampfer with sickles, maybe mod after fate tesstarosa bardiche...

mmm... i need some pla plates and more waveforms parts for modding...

birthday/weddings/funerals

2008-09-29T00:25:00.002+08:00

been a veri hectic weekend... fri nite went for frens bdae... had a few drinks at fashion bar... place was decent... but seems veri atas for mi... kinda out of place... i guess i'm still the coffee shop beer drinker kind ba....

sat was good though... went out for a dinner with kam/gan/hh at bugis... it was a pretty entertaining dinner..of course...with mr kam around...since when was it ever not entertaining...
had a decent meal at phin's steakhouse in bugis... ordered food of every kind... hh had pork, i had chicken, kam had seafood and gan had steak... after which we adjourned to gan's house for some gaming action... after which we went for supper at bedok 85 ard 2ish... and we all had a veri long and entertaining topics of conversation..ahh...sometimes it is good to be out with juz us guys and no gals...ahhaa... words flow freely.. haha... it sounds more like a gossip session too... i'm sure gals do have alot of such sessions without guys ard too!!

den today woke up early and haul my ass down to orchard for some ktv... ktv at least is another form of expression imo... juz bate to the lyrics and music and sing along... fun session as alwaes...
den was a wedding dinner of my colleague...
turn out they bride/groom knew each other since sec sch... and they were eventualli tog since jc... ahh... talk abt lasting r/s... this is exactly the kind tt i dun see it nowadays...

kids nowadaes gets into/out of r/s so fast like raikonnan making a lap ard the circuit... u never knwo who ended up tops... wateva happen to those long lasting r/s...i wonder... i guess it's alwaes the pursuit of sparks.... cuz sparks are pretty...but nvr last long... i'll opt for the one tt makes my heart skips a beat and ties my stomach into knots anytime...

and yeahz...zzz....long week ahead...with holiday also muz go work... selamat hari raya in advance...

" it takes 2 hands to clap... it takes 4 lips to kiss... but it only takes 1 second to know it's you..."

the last lecture...

2008-09-24T11:35:00.003+08:00

caught a lot of shows recently apart from my ainme following regime... there's prison break s4, supernatural, and of course heroes... all the different days of the weeks are used to catch up on all these shows with their weekly releases... and still there's one piece/soul eater/ bleach/ naruto/ dgrey man and in oct, gundam 00 to follow too! sounds like a damn busy life ahead...

anyway...caught the last lecture by Randy Pausch at hs's recommendations... it was not bad... and at the end of the show.. gotten 3 points that i think are worth taking away...

1. Brickwalls are there for a reason. They let us know how badly we want something.

how everyone interprete this is entirely up to them, but i guess this is just similar to my "what don't kills you make you stronger.." philosophy...

2. When you screw up and nobody is saying anything, it shows they have given up on you.

this to me is pretty true... and so far... no many ppl are saying things about me... either i've already been given up...or i never screw up at all... hopefully it's the latter...

3. Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.

this imo, holds the most meaning to me... i guess it's impossible to get what we want all the time.. the more impt thing is having going thru that experience in trying, and of course...when you are trying... i do mean putting in your best shot and not some half hearted attempt that fizzes off like goes flat...

this 3 points plus together would somehow gives a more wholistic idea on how to be a more optimistic person i guess.... i guess this can keep me afloat a while more despite all the family woes...

anyway, plans for chalet has been changed to BBQ at Mr. Gan house... it'll still be at 2nd week of Oct. I'll post up the menu in my next posting and please confirm whether you are available or not...

"it's not easy to be human...it's harder to be me..."

untitled

2008-09-22T00:28:00.002+08:00

i realised normali when i have untitled posts...it's often not abt veri good things... somehow my life is abit like the US economy...major up and down...and ya... but this time round..it's realli literally link to their economy...damn..

went to hall foc bash... can't realli tell whether izzit successful or not..see alot of ppl...but prolly cuz itz open to the public... but aniwae... hopefully foc makes some money...
seen alot of things yest nite at the bash..din realli enjoy myself.. was too busy....and too crowded...
and something did rubbed me the wrong way...and i dun mean body parts... i wasn't rubbing bodies with ppl or aniting lidat... but ya.. i dun like to see ppl giving up on themselves... but ya.. under influence of alcohol...itz easy to be that way...

i guess i'm too controlled... or a veri self control freak you could sae... i exact very strict control over my self... and i dun realli indulged myself much in anything...mabbe except gundams... but ya..itz over...

but then today...yet anothing have to pissed mi off big time... i dun like it when greed takes over a person...esp if itz eyeing something tt's not urs... if u wnat something..u betta work ur ass off in getting tt... dun expect ppl to hand it over on a silver platter.... if he was ard... all this shit wuld not have happen in the family... damn...

"money is the root to all evil... "

questions...

2008-09-18T23:10:00.002+08:00

there are times we can find answers in the littlest things around us... or we can even try to find spiritual guidance from god/buddha/ whichever u pray to.... but sometimes in life... there are questions that we really have no answers to... like the ones i thought....

1. who do you love more...the one you can find 1000 reasons to love...or the one you love for no reason at all...

2. real frens are ppl who call you when they need you...or the ones that you call when you need them...

3. we lie because we care? or because we dun dare tell the truth...

4. working for a living? or living because of work...

okiez...above questions are realli nonsensical... forget abt it...

"it all boils down to the one thing you can't get... "

Announcement

2008-09-15T23:12:00.002+08:00

ahem...test test... okiez... listen up ppl...

this coming sat... there's gonna be hall bash...14bucks at st james power house...
this for FOC... if can make it...plz come... cuz most of us still support foc... we all shuld be there...

however, before tt... there will be a couple of us going down to sentosa ard noon-ish...
likely activities include frisbee-ing, balling, and cooking in the sun... interested tag/sms me...

after which...there's gonna be a dinner..most probz at vivo or wat... likewise...tag/sms me...

get back to me soon...

end of announcement...

"hate not what others did...regret only what you din do..."

of wedding bells and eternal bliss...

2008-09-15T01:01:00.002+08:00

went for my uncle's wedding today... the whole feel i got was abit budgeted... i guess for my own wedding (hopefully there's gonna be 1), i'll have a higher tendency to splurge and make it a memorable affair... juz thinking abt the sheer number of tables for the wedding dinner is enuf to make my teeth chatter... juz imagine... 26 uncles and aunties... juz on both paternal/maternal side... not including dozen of cousins... and bear in mind... hall frens/army frens/uni frens/colleages are yet to be included.... faintz... oh well... shall ignore this til further development...ahaha....
============================================================
also...been seeing a lack of updates in other ppl's blogs.... kinda seems that blog has lose it's personal touch...esp when u know who are reading...or duno who are reading your blog... it kinds makes it harders for you to speak you mind and write down wat u want... we become more careful in our postings... and often wat we realli feel we dun post... i guess itz juz human's way of self protection ba... and i do admit.. i speak in circles... you either get wat i'm talking abt... or u dun... itz juz that way for me... and often... my entries often contain double meanings... u juz either have to be literal... or juz see past the words to understands... but for those who does... i guess it juz shows tt they know me betta than others ba....
============================================================
mom's gonna be in genting for the next 3 days... gonna be home alone (okiez..with my bro) for the next few days...ah...time to pick up the household chores....

"everybody have their dirty little secret..."

relationships...

2008-09-10T02:20:00.003+08:00

relationships are never easy... it's the intricate connections that connect you to others... be it kinship, frenship, or even a bgr... all of which are hard...
each diff kinds or relationships takes diff ways and effort to maintain...
we can't realli choose our kinship...for we are born into one... who your parents are are already predetermined the moment you are born into it...
and i guess tt's why it should be the most impt thing that matter out of all these relationships...

frenship on their other hand, are what we find along the passage of life...
from young, we make frens along the way...and with the passing of time, frens enter and leave our life... it all depends on how much u cherish the frenship that determines the effort you put into maintaining the frenship... sometimes indeed, it is a one sided thing... you can be alwaes the one tt contact others... and alwaes the one that organises this and that... but it just boils down to your own initiative...

however, i believe the ones that most ppl will be having troubles with are normally bgr... somehow, i see that alot in ppl i knew.... ppl are not troubled over kinship/ frenship..but it juz kills them when it gets to bgr... i guess bgr does rank above frenships...and juz slightly below kinship... afterall, when a couple get married...the bgr auto upgrades to a kinship...or kinda aniwae...

in the pursuit of this kinship... ppl changes... and i do believe that such changes are justified... a impatient person could become more patient with his/her other half... a uncaring person can starts to care more abt his/her other half... but mabbe... in the course of the changes... detrimental changes might do occur... possesive-ness, jealousy, and over reliance and taking for granted might all set in... this will leads to arguements...

ppl will change from a you-first to a me-first attitude... where everything is about ur own self... that's when i guess the typical comments like "you dun care abt me...you dun love me..." will appear... i guess...if it comes to such a case...high chance will be the r/s might fail... and everything's gonna be back to square one...

ah well... who am i to comment aniwae... to all who having r/s probs... good luck...

"if i dun see myself existing in this world, i can live solely for you..."

short updates

2008-09-07T23:07:00.002+08:00

been a decent weekend...fri nite was a guys nites out...had a great ktv session... though no drinks... but still great...good time in singing the songs from my time....the 1980s...shiok...
after tt had a supper at a dim sum place in geylang... decent food..though slightly ex...din eat much...cuz am supposed to be on diet also...

staed home on sat...except for going to a hair cut.... was rewarded with not so good news... hopefully things are betta now for the ppl involved...

sunday was another good day... manage to catch a movie...make it happen..decent watch i guess...kinda like a spin off from coyote ugly though...
had shokudo at city link...now my bro cannot sae i more sua ku since i've been there now...

well... seems like there's a rough patch for quite a few ppl now... hopefully things will turn out fine...jiayou jiayou to all ba...

"when you are lost...just keep going forward..."

jukebox

2008-09-06T15:04:00.000+08:00

added a couple of songs to be played upon loading of my blog...
u can turn it off if u find it irritating...

wat are u dreaming of...

2008-09-01T22:45:00.003+08:00

caught singapore dreaming on tv yesternite... i kinda like this kind of shows... talks abt families...dreams... relationships... kinda interesting...as it can really get me thinking... it ain't a big blockbuster... but it does touches one mind...
so what are you dreaming of...
i guess one of the most impt takeaway from the show actually came from a china beer girl...
we lost our dreams in the pursuit of money...but some actually are willing to do anything to pursue their dreams...even if it meant being a beer lady...
of course..such cases are rare though... money still rules i guess...

some ppl would put success in front of everything..for success, they give up family, love and everything else... be it for money, for love, or for something else... i still dun believe in giving up family...

finalli i'm starting on fate stay night...

"wherever you go...whatever you do..i will be right here waiting for you..."

boring...

2008-08-31T01:02:00.001+08:00

din realli had a good weekend this time round... no plans to go out...even on my off day on friday...only managed to go down to comex and grab a hard disk...den end up cooping at home growing mushrooms....

sat was pretty much the same... whole day coop at home...plans to go timbre was planned...and cancelled... so pretty much whole day at home killing myself by smelling thinner... perhaps i should go take up something...plans to go be sunshine boy have yet to be executed...haizzz

i wonder if my brain is damaged yet....

"i wish i'm busier sometimes..."

something new...i guess

2008-08-29T03:23:00.003+08:00

well...decided to change the banner and layout abit...and yes..again!
well...kinda like this picture (credits to deviantart)...

a solitary dock in the middle of the oceans in the sunset...
kinda have a gloomy yet motivational feel to it...
it's the end for ppl on land...but for ppl who are out in the sea... a dock actually signifies new beginning... represents a place to finally stop sailing and feel the firm ground with their feet again...

kinda represent myself too... being a dock for others...and trying to find a dock for myself... ahh...paradoxical...

and hurrah...finally managed to get a day off to slack tml..or rather...later in the day... shall enjoy this weekday break fully... after a tiring week at work... i so wanna a break...
yes...i know...i only come back from japan only 2 mths ago... but still...i want a small break...ahhz...

and i've finally gotten my first cufflink shirt...finally..i can put the cuff links i received for this year to good use.. well... i wunt mind more such shirts though...any volunteers?
damn...330am...time to slp...

"if you think you reach the end, just turn around..."

wonderwall

2008-08-26T11:32:00.000+08:00

i wonder if facebook got their inspiration from here...

"i say maybe...you gonna be the one that save me..."

what if...

2008-08-26T02:21:00.002+08:00

i guess many ppl would have the idea of what ifs...
what if this happens and that did not...

there are endless possibilities that such a thing might happen...

what if my father's around and how will i turn out to become...

what if i'm a rich spoilt brat that throw tantrums...

what if i struck lottery and become damn rich...

what if i'm stuck with a terminal disease and just can't be myself...

what if all these ifs happen....

i sometimes do ponder....

"possibilities remain as possibilities til further action..."

2008-08-24T21:33:00.002+08:00

i've always like sunset over the sea...and it's kinda cool to see the skies and the sea meet together in the distant horizon.... kinda makes u feel how small you are....kinda makes u realise how lonely is it do be sitting there gazing at the sunset alone....makes u realise how thankful you are to have ppl that share that instant with you...

"..."

friday night....

2008-08-23T17:10:00.005+08:00

been quite some time since i last went for a midnite movie at JP... unwilling to be home too early on a fri night... decided to go catch deathrace at JP with my bro...

movie wasn't that big deal...but it's just the walk back tt gotten mi to think back abt the times when i often went for midnite movies... the long walk back into NTU... the occasional stops at the supper places and at "the sun" to get some snacks and drinks along the way... and on a few occasions... the lone trek out of NTU via jalan bahar there to go home... those were the days...

too bad...it ain't gonna be back anymore...

"the raindrops that came down from heaven... the souls that rises up there..."

all summer long...

2008-08-22T00:13:00.000+08:00

i know..singapore dun realli have summer...but i just kinda like this song...

kinda remind mi of when i was younger...doing wateva i please...
not like now...bounded by the expectations of ppl...bounded by expectations of myself...
kinda tiring to be carrying a burden like this....ah well... life goes on...

"i guess i'm realli tired..."

sick...

2008-08-19T23:08:00.002+08:00

abit sick after running in the rain on sunday...when you are old... it's realli ez to fall sick...think with the lousy immune systems...with the excess work..the lack of sleep... it does weaken ppl to quite a considerable extent...ahh...damn it... hopefully can slp thru this ordeal... slp is realli one of the best thing to counter sickness... either u slp and recover...or u juz slp and never wake up...choy choy choy.... touchwood...i'll recover... no worries...

oh ya... been thinking of having a battle scene for my 1/144 dearies... soon i will execute tt plan... need to improve on all the seed gunpla and learn abt weathering and such...soon soon...

as i move on..i'll publish my wip on the other site... stay tuned...

"the parts are the things that link to the main body... "

17/08

2008-08-17T22:18:00.002+08:00

mmm...todae is considered a decent day... stayed in with my lovelies to work on them....completed my musha... and touched up a couple of SDs... will post up the fotos soon i hope...ahah...been lazy to set up to take the fotos...

had a pretty good supper on fri... caught up with a couple of folks... den bought a new pair of pants from g2k on sat... i would guess it's been a good weekend...except from the fact that i was confronted by london for something...work related...tt pissed mi off... ahah... at the instance... the thot of tendering to prove my innocence actually flash across my head...but nopez...i'm not tt stupid... or impulsive for that matter...

and yes...today is the day singapore won its first silver olympic medal in 48 yrs... or rather... the PR's we recruited won it for us... good job nonetheless... and caught abit of the badminton match finals... lin dan was indeed overpowering... and michaels phelps still rule!

oh ya...plz tell mi the available dates u all are okiez for the weekend...
i'm intending it to be one of the weekends in sep...are u all okiez? tag mi and let me know...

"the reason is never really what...it's more of who..."

forgiveness

2008-08-12T03:16:00.004+08:00

sometimes...it's harder to hurt ppl than be hurt... revenge is alwaes a easy way out... bringing pain and suffering upon others to alleviate the pain... however, the hurt that remains haunts far more than being hurt itself... i guess it realli is harder to forgive...

i do know that sometimes there are things when i should have said..but simply do not... and sometimes it's the other way round...
however, i believe that in all aspects... actions shows more than what words represent...
but i guess sometimes, to ppl... words are all that matters...

you can say the things that you never do... you can promise ppl the world... but without making good on that promise... it just dun mean aniting to me...

rather than saying the things i can't do...i'll rather do the things i can't say...

btw, ani hall folks up for a chalet notz...there's this chalet plan tt's like buzzing ard for the past couple of months...but no actual plans was draft up... so now...44 folks and frens...who up for chalet? tell me and i'll work it out...

"whenever you call me...i'll be waiting..."

and so the story goes...

2008-08-08T00:54:00.005+08:00

i've never been a person to give flowers... but there's alwaes a first for everything...
kinda like the feel to be able to bring a smile to ppl...
kind prove tt my existence does make ppl glad....

good tt despite hastily putting tog everything so last min... part 1,2 and 3 went well...
let's hope part 4 will be great as well...

to all the aug babies... happy birthday...

"the circle is there...it just depends whether are you willing to be in or out..."

foc

2008-08-03T02:04:00.001+08:00

went back for foc sp nite...
good to see so mani snrs there...good to see freshies enjoying themselves...
reminded mi of the past when i was younger and more energetic...
running here there everywhere...
the past is alwaes betta...
i guess...

but good job..hall 8 foc com...

who do you love..

2008-07-30T02:50:00.003+08:00

saw on a fren's blog... the person that you want to share your happiness with and the person that you want to share your sadness with are the ones you love... they may be the same...or different depending on ppl i guess... and i do agree with the fact that i think the one you want to share your sadness with should be of a higher "value" than the one you want to share your happiness with...reason being: there are more downs than ups in life...

so of course... the one you share your sadness with is the one you love more i guess... however... i do hold another view on this fact... the one you want to share your sickness with may simply be more useful as he/she can simply solve your problem than the one you love... there's no love in this aspects...oni in terms of utility... and yes...i thrashed all romance out of this situation... but tt seems kinda juz like a reality....

we seek ppl who can help us...who can tell us wat we want to hear...and ppl who support us no matter how wrong we are... itz in human nature to wish to hear the things they wanna hear rather than the disapprovals of others... and yes... i'm one of them...

"the days get on by...but its just the nites that hurts the mosts....."

convo part 2

2008-07-28T11:59:00.003+08:00

well...went back to sch for more convo pics taking with cw, ly and zz... as i brought along my SLR, it does feels like a outdoor shoot... with me as the photographer, zz as the PA for ly, cw...and ly, cw are the main super models... hahaa... went ard various spots in NTU for the foto-taking...whole session took abt 3 hours plus... juz imagine 3 NBS robes prowling the school and taking fotos... everyone was staring but who cares...we are the "graduates"...

so here's the pics... due to limited space in my blogger...i shall juz link this pics to my web album...
and hor...ly and cw, if u all want to develop the fotos..get the originals from me...

the "hiao hiao" graduates

reaching for the stars...

i can jump too!

can you see the "NTU"

3 very angry ladies...

the classic throwing of convo hat...

damn nice pic of the sky...

proud "mama" with her graduating "daughters"

one year ago...

2008-07-24T21:30:00.002+08:00

this is the day that should have come one year ago...

lets see who has double chin.... damn... it's mi!!

ya... i know..the convo hat looks realli wierd on me!

happy foto...one of my fave of the day...

the fake and the reals....

my prof that still rmbrs me!

at least now the convo hat looks betta..ahaha...

happy convocation to us...

juz kinda pity tt there were others tt were too busy to take fotos with me... otherwise it'll realli be a perfect day...

"expectations is directly proportionate to disappointment... higher your hopes..harder you hit the ground..."

只能抱着你

2008-07-21T21:55:00.000+08:00

"a picture speaks more than a thousand words, a video shows more than a thousand pictures..."

random

2008-07-17T11:43:00.002+08:00

sometimes i like how life throws its ups and down at us... past few daes were down...down with work... with work piling up..and targets to hit...and things to do out of the box... it gets harder and harder each day... esp with the morale getting lower and lower each day...

but all these downs do accentuate the ups in life... without the downs...we are unable to distinguish all the happiness in life... juz endure thru the downturn...and life will definitely be up...as the saying goes...wat goes up must come down...i believe vice versa too...

went for a good drinking session with the office folks...saw quite a few familiar faces... and had fun drinking and making fun of the lesser drinkers... haha...

"it's not about what you have but rather, it's about who you are..."

our future...

2008-07-16T01:04:00.001+08:00

some email my cousin sent me...and somehow...i think this is a possible future for all of us...

"what don't kill you makes you stronger...you might as well kill me..."

japan part 2 - castles

2008-07-09T00:21:00.004+08:00

well well...after the food...here's the sights...as i've been to too mani places..i decided to break them up into a few categories...beginning with castles! hahaha... and here are the 3 most famous castles that i went to in japan...

as a intro, most of these castles were built during the shogunate era, mainly by the a few famous warlords like hideyoshi and tokugawa... most of which have a warring purposes, or used as forts in the war...but as time goes by..they are now being protected as a heritage centre in japan...

Nijo castle... this is used as more of a summer house rather than a fort... it's not surrounded by high walls like the others u'll see later...

view of Nijo from the front... doesn't it look like a damn big chalet...

this castle here is the Himeji castle... i purposely came all the way down just to see this castle... it's also known as the white heron, and is notedly one of the most famous castle in Japan...

Himeji castle...note the high walls and many layers of building... each building has its own purposes in housing soldiers, weapons and look out holes... and of course..right at the very top is where the shogun lives...

stone tablet welcoming us to Himeji castle...

closed up view of Himeji castle...

front view of Himeji castle....compare the height of a human to the castle... this damn 6 storey castle almost killed me when i was climbing the staircase all the way up... btw, this castle retains a fair amount of its past and was kept intact...

and here's Osaka castle... protected by a moat...to reach the castle...soldiers have to cross the moat, scale the walls, make their way up the long route to just reach the outskirts...war is hard back in those days....

Osaka castle with its bling bling ornaments...those bling bling parts are actually gold foil...

miniature replica of the battle of sekigahara...or rather..the east west war...

view from the top of Osaka castle...

sern with 2 girls...

"we only fail when we stopped trying... not when we do not succeed..."

japan part 1 - food

2008-07-07T23:44:00.006+08:00

as promised...delicious pics that will make you drool...
**caution : the images below will make the viewer very hungry...view at your own discretion...

this is me... carrying my backpack at the train station of narita airport...
and yes..i'm delicious too...but no...i'm not available for eating...at least not to most of you...

Char Siew Ramen in Akihabara... look at the many pieces of char siew...and the thick soup!

Shoyu Ramen this time...with its clear soup and big fatty char siew!

Sashimi Don from Tsukiji fish market... salmon, tuna, prawns, tamago and roe... wat more do you want out of a Don...

Hamburger Curry Rice! this is found in Ginza area...

Hamburger with baked potato!

Alas..the fabled Mac Tamago! 3 layers of meat...1 layer of egg...between 2 soft tender sesame buns...

Breakfast set in Kyoto...baked toast with cinnamon and maple syrup with a nice cup of english tea...

Omu (omelette) rice with hamburger...somehow baked pork are all called hamburger in japan...

Spicy Ramen set with gyoza and fried rice... soup for ramen was nice and salty and gyoza is totally absolutely delicious...

simple meal of Gyu don... Yoshinoya does not come close to this standard...

yet another simple yet totally yummy don...
Ten don this time round... the fried prawns are golden brown and crisp on the outside...yet succulent on the inside...

Miso Ramen! (yes...ramen again!)

assorted sushi

go Ramen go!

something what most japanese have for breakfast...
Asa soba...meaning morning soba...

and look at all these nice meat! assorted parts and all marinated and waiting to jump straight into the sizzling pan....

this is the first meal i had in japan...katsu don!
simple, yet delicious...

and katsu curry rice! from curry king!

"明知不可为而为之"

japan updates 1

2008-07-06T23:02:00.002+08:00

okiez...been some time since i've been back from japan...and i know..been a lazy ass and din update aniting abt it...i guess i shall start updating it abit... wanna update abt food but blogger dun allow me to upload the fotos....
i'll try again some other time...ahhaa...

"i'm not dead...at least not yet..."

japan

2008-06-21T22:44:00.000+08:00

shall do a quik update...this is my 4th nite in japan..am now at osaka...
staying in a pretty good hotel todae..ahaha..last min come here find..lucky have...
lotsa decent shopping..
lotsa foood...
lotsa pretty girls
and lotsa AVs...
whole place is totalli full of them la! haaa...

6 more to go before back to hot humid sg...
himeji and kyoto next! booya!

remnants...

2008-06-16T11:17:00.003+08:00

had a pretty decent meal of crayfish, scallops, mussels, prawns, bread & butter pudding, mango pudding at goodwood park hotel yest...seems like a very nice and posh place...
caught narnia and finally bought a pair of loafers that i alwaes rant abt wanting to have at rockport.... burnt 200 bucks juz lidat...

narnia 2 is decent show i guess...2.5 hrs long...tt enuf is worth is ticket of 10 bucks le... a couple of battle scenes were quite nicely done... though i think the mask seems to be reused from 300...

and on a side note...2 more days to japan...
i'm leaving on a jetplane...!

"understand yourself before others could truly understand you...."

sucker

2008-06-13T00:37:00.002+08:00

being a sucker...makes u suckier than suck...
i know...i am one... i'm the one asking for it....
doing all the things that need not be done
caring abt the things that need not be cared...
i know...i am a sucker..
and my weaknesses is that i make life difficult for myself....
trying to hold on to everything that shouldn't be held on...

"desires is simply the thing out of reach.."

updates

2008-06-11T23:04:00.001+08:00

posting for the sake of posting...
juz to show i'm still ard...
1 more week to japan...
booya....

"the things we want are the things we can't get..."

gathering...again

2008-06-06T02:29:00.002+08:00

time for another gathering... june is the bdae of mr kam/hh.. sunday will have a gathering for tt...
plan is foot reflex and steamboat dinner... eat til we puke.. all 44 ppl and the usual gang... plz confirm with either th/me ur availabilty...

Don’t look back
Don’t regret
Time’s falling out of these hands
I’ll let you leave me

Go on,
You know Home is always inside your soul
All the light to bless your way
Don’t be afraid
And I’ll be your home

In this time
In this place
This moment is all we have
And tomorrow we never know

Every precious time
Let it go
Somewhere away
You will learn, And you’ll love,
forgive the past and you can move on

All the distance
You’ve come to a place
Then you see that your home is away
Now the sun is rising
lighting up your sky again brightly

Every precious time
Let it go
Somewhere away
You will learn, And you’ll love,
forgive the past

Go on,
You know Home is always inside your soul
Wherever you go
Whatever you see
I’ll be the place
And I’ll be your home

results...

2008-06-05T01:42:00.002+08:00

felt like doing something stupid todae...so decided to ask malau zai go airport welcome ZZ/Jas arrival back home after half a yr...
and here's the result....

and results...today NTU release results... good luck folks... for all those who done well... congrats...for all those who din do so well...buck up and try again...if u haven grad...

"岂能尽其人意, 但求无愧于心"

reflections..

2008-06-04T01:33:00.002+08:00

with the recent happenings in the family... somehow i can't help but wonder... would there be anyone remembering me if i'm gone... would there be anyone shedding tears of pity for me... i wonder... as a person passes... he/she becomes nothing more than just a memory... a memory that is very easily forgotten... the pain passes with time... and so does the memory... it just slow fades away into nothing... ppl would rather let such memories fade...then to invoke the fresh pains that invades them upon thinking of the past... perhaps that's how time heals wounds... it makes you forget...slowly but surely...

tears comes and goes... i guess the same applies for feelings..though it's harder to let some feelings goes... the upcoming japan trip will definitely be good...especially at such a time... allows me a fresh change of environment...a short break from the stuffz here...

it's definitely hard to see a love person depart...and even harder to see those left behind cry for the departed... just imagine... the first thing i heard when i entered into my gramps house was my grandma saying "you're ah gong's gone..." just imagine the pain and hurt the sombreness it was that time... i guess everyone been thru it at some point of time or another... perhaps i'm just worser at dealing with such things... i guess even my bro was affected..though he wasn't one to show his emotion... he would just sit silently on the sofa staring into space... i guess such a expression is even worse than being able to cry...

"we forgive...but can we ever truly forget..."

healthy

2008-06-01T23:09:00.002+08:00

watched supersize me juz now... talked abt the harmful effects of fast food etc... i think it's true..though their views are skewed as they eat fast food for straight 30 daes... aniting in excess is sure harmful one.. but i guess itz time to up the veges/ down the sugar/salt intake...
haizz... health realli declines with age...

"oh my darling,... you were wonderful tonight..."

over

2008-05-28T23:57:00.002+08:00

day 5 came and went... and everything's over...
i din know i can cry so much... and trying to hold back tears is damn hard... i tried to stay strong...but end up failing miserably... all the withheld emotions juz gushed thru like a floodgate tt opened... it's really sucky...
lotsa things happened in 5 days... passing of gramps... hospitalisation of grandma... to see things cock up during the wake... tensions build up and conflicts arose between siblings over small matters... it hurts... it realli hurts... and the worst thing is that i know that gramps has gone to join with dad... so they're both out there somewhere...
2 of the person who dotes on me most were gone... somehow tt does makes u wonder who's left...
during the procession....rained big time...muz be due to the mistakes that we make for the rites...din do this...din do tt...did so many things wrong...screwed up so many times... i guess even my gramp is unable to leave smoothly...that's why the rain...

but thanks to cw/ly/darren/stuart/kam/gan/th/mj/qing who took the time to come down... and glenn too... realli appreciate the company... to see a familiar face at such a difficult times does somehow allievate things abit...

"i guess this is it..."

thanks...

2008-05-26T00:53:00.003+08:00

many thanks to cat/zz... for the long dist care/concern...
realli appreciate it...
ur kind gesture realli touched me...
and thanks to all my frens here who encouraged me in this tough times...
thanks...

24/5/08

2008-05-25T00:03:00.002+08:00

24/5/08...

a sucky day that took another dear one from me... my last grandpa left just lidat lei...
sombre day...

and i hate funerals so...

"cherish your dearest.... "

kuishin wat? kuishin bo!

2008-05-23T03:06:00.002+08:00

ehh... guys and girls... monday...kuishinbo and jiao di an mo...
so far...th, me, darren...
who gian tell mi again...

tentative timing...
12 @ city hall mrt...

try not to be late as kuishinbo veri crowded ard 1230 one...

missin....

2008-05-21T01:26:00.002+08:00

another one of those nostalgics nite...
kinda missing the weather in LA, missing the hamburgers, pizzas and salads, missing the pinkberry yogurt, missing the beautiful UCLA campus, missing the movie premieres, missing the view of the pacific ocean, missing westwood, missing glenrock, missing the whole bunch of ppl, the mad foam party...

kinda missing the foc days of not sleeping, mad running in town, missing the cheerings, missing the stupid games that we played, missing the lousy food during camp time, missing all the fun and games....

kinda missing the hall days of dota-ing until morning, missing the half boil eggs with toast at only 1.50, missing the late nite suppers at ah fang and ah lian, missing the crazy birthday sabos, missing sneezing out loudly and wake everybody up, missing sitting on my ledge, missing 44, and missing the drinking sessions we had....

kinda missing almost everybody... from ppl in nbs, to the hall gang... to the folks of pyrius, phyxion... to the shiraz.... to the few nbs frens i kept til this days....

kinda hate this feeling of missing...

===============================================================

and i think r/s is like a camp fire... to keep it burning, ppl have to feed it wood... to get it started...one muz have the correct setup and of course, sparks... everyone's are like fire wood... we each give ourselves to keep the flames burning...and of course, some burn bigger, and some burn bigger... but of course that comes at how much wood you feed it...
each of us have a limit to how much we could burn... for the bigger flames, it'll burn at a faster rate...for the smaller flames, it'll burn slower... and each time the flames is doused, it gets harder to relight it... and ya... there's no point to this portion actually... was juz some thots on the cab ride back home...

"which kind of fire are you burning yourself with..."